Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints.

As I mentioned in my most recent post, I'm not able to update this as often as I really want to. I absolutely love blogging, but by the time I'm done with my graduate school tasks for the day, I become a collapsed puddle of human, incapable of uttering a single word. But I had to log on this once to share some incredibly exciting news. Earlier yesterday I learned that my insurance (through the marketplace) has preauthorized me FOR A HYSTERECTOMY IN EARLY AUGUST.  For over six years now I've been struggling through years of no insurance coverage as a student and then one trans-exclusive, discriminatory policy after another. Even as a federal employee. Yet finally, at long last, this is actually happening. It doesn't feel real yet, but I'm beyond ecstatic. I'm actually scheduled for surgery!  Whaaaa??? There are a gazillion risks reduced and benefits from having this done, one of which will be lowering my dose of testosterone post surgery, which is ...

Update: A more concise version of this was published on Dissident Voice titled, " Gender and Sexual Diversity " on June 21, 2014.  The recent article by Robert Jensen, “ Some Basic Propositions about Sex, Gender, and Patriarchy ,” espouses concepts that both reflect and perpetuate cissexism and transphobia. Jensen correctly anticipates that readers will recognize much of his article as unabashedly transphobic. He reacts by preemptively dismissing any such observations as mere “tactics.” In the third to last paragraph he writes,  "Labeling a radical feminist position on these public policy issues as inherently “transphobic” or describing radical feminist arguments on the issues as “hate speech” are diversionary tactics that undermine productive intellectual and political discussion. A critique of an idea is not a personal attack on any individual who holds the idea." An online search for terms like “hate speech” and “diversionary tactic” leads one to any numb...

Be forewarned: I am about to launch into a whiny spiel about how stressful it has been meeting with trans-unaware OB-GYNs while I'm insured in hopes that they won't a) refer to me as a "post-menopausal woman" and b) will, at the very least, listen to me about my preventative interest in an oophorectomy (removal of ovaries) and a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus). But before said spiel, a brief update is in order. As a reminder since it's been a minute, I am presently living in Maryland to complete my federal service "payback" as an NIH (National Institutes of Health) Undergraduate Scholarship post-baccalaureate (i.e. 4-year college graduate) research fellow. Throughout the duration of my payback I have been nervous about blogging after I signed a gazillion + 1 forms about not representing myself as the NIH or a federal employee. So, quick disclaimer before I proceed: I am not blogging on behalf of the NIH or as a federal employee. Alright, now w...

Healing quite nicely if I do say so my vain self!

Had the most difficult time getting my prescription refill (testosterone cypionate) this time around. Generally I just wander in to the pharmacy and request my refill, give them money, take bag of needles and prescription, and head off into the world. But when I attempted to refill this time around ON injection day I was told, “Oh, you’re out of refills. Oh, and your doctor won’t authorize a refill until you make an appointment with her.” Oh, alright. Fair enough. Except that I'm due for a shot - today. And came in today because I couldn't afford it prior, as I was just paid. When I tried to schedule an appointment with her I was told, “You owe us money. It’s in collections. Here’s their number.” What? From when? Where? Whyyyyy is this the first time I’ve heard of it and it’s in collections !? Turns out, even though my doctor’s office had my current address and name - they had never communicated that to billing. So here I was, bumbling along assuming that all of my info i...

I just can’t stop obsessing about my top surgery scheduled for August 11th . I just can’t. I’m trapped in a land of fantasy and anticipation. Every time I bicycle, I imagine how wonderful it’s going to feel to do so without a binder - to feel the wind against my skin. Swooooosh. I imagine going on hikes where I can breathe and my body can evaporate the heat. I imagine rain on my chest, going swimming, being able to go to the gym, not experiencing horrible acid reflux on a daily basis … but, most importantly, especially given the inevitable and relentless “side effects” of T? Getting my self-esteem put back together again. I know that surgery isn’t going to be a catch-all. A lot of emotional damage has come from living with such severe dysphoria for such a long ol’ time. But it’s, for sure, 87.4% closer. Which is close , if I do say so myself!

My apologies in advance for the pretty much inevitable fact that 99.2% of my blogging from now on up until August 11th is going to be related to my upcoming top surgery. You have been forewarned. I’ve been waiting for this for so.long. For some time there, it felt unattainable. Every time I’d get close, something would come along to thwart my progress. But this time around and with all of the support I’ve received from my friends and loved ones to make this happen? No thwarting! It’s happening ! Fo’ real real and not fo’ in my head play play! So, throughout this whole enthused about surgery shindig, I haven’t ever really disclosed the details of the specific procedure I’m bound for - the “ double incision mastectomy ”. With this method, incisions are made horizontally across each breast below the nipple: The skin is then peeled back so that the mammary glands and fatty tissue can be removed with a scalpel. scrape scrape scrape . Once the breast tissue has been scooped out, the...

Impulse buy for my mother from my excursion to Farmers Market yesterday: This was my first chance to go to the Farmers Market this summer and it was a lot of fun. And I just couldn’t resist splurging on this little guy who had mother written all over him. He is now known as Sammy. Yesterday I got to peruse the market with my friend, Rachael, who beelined to every jewelry shack on the block - which was, literally, probably every 2nd or 3rd vendor cart. In years past I’d had absolutely no idea there were so many jewelry vendors. I was aghast. The closest I’d ever get to noticing jewelry otherwise is if someone had stuck Sammy (above) on a necklace. Which, by the way, would be an incredible necklace. Ooo, tonight, Athens Boys Choir (i.e. trans dude named Katz) is touring through Salt Lake City again! I’m excited and shall blog about it after. In other news, guess who has surgery next month, AUGUST 11TH ??? I’m so excited it pains me.

About four years ago I traveled to New York City for a conference where I knew that I had to do the following things: Go on an edible wild foods tour through Central Park with Wild Man Steve Brill (who was arrested for foraging back in the day) See the Museum of Sex Eat lots of vegan food See Cazwell - a "homo-hop" artist who frequently collaborates with trans performer  Amanda Lepore I accomplished all of the above minus a Cazwell fix. Why? His show was all booked. A little about my beloved homo hop artist - from Wikipedia , During the summer of 2007, Cazwell was a part of the multi-artist True Colors Tour, which traveled through 15 cities in North America. The tour, sponsored by LOGO, was hosted by comedian Margaret Cho and headlined by Cyndi Lauper and included Rufus Wainwright, The Dresden Dolls, Rosie O'Donnell, Indigo Girls, Stephen Reed and other special guests. Profits from the tour helped to benefit LGBT organizations Human Rights Campaign, PFLAG and...