Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints.

I tried to make a little webcam vlog shindig via my blatantly super enthusiastic voice — but, alas, something went amiss and the audio isn’t being captured. wonk wonk. Which means — I’ll blog it! … for now . I want to make a giddy vlog about this, too, damnit. In the meantime… I just made my final payment for surgery. It is now paid for and the way swell “receptionist” ( This is entirely surreal. To actually have it paid for and to know, for sure, this is happening. I can’t thank everyone enough who has donated, helped with my fund-raiser, and supported me throughout all of this. If I could cry (I haven’t once since transitioning - wtf!), I would. ;)

I just finished presenting my summer research project at the McNair Scholars Symposium today! I got to wear a fo’ real real suit for the first time ever! It’s astounding how many times one gets called “handsome” in a suit versus basketball shorts. Bah. Then on to Berkeley next week to present again (and then surgery!!). Almost… done… relief… so, close… :)

is in 15 days !

My apologies in advance for this boring post - but school right now. Seriously. As a McNair Scholar , most of my time these past two months has been spent with a research group following adolescents around in a park with a clipboard coding for instances of aggression. Now that we’re finished with that creeper good time, this week things got real. Hence less blogging fun happy time. Starting next Monday, my group and I will be spending 8 hours a day for three days in a row presenting our research over and over… and over… where it (and our presentation styles) will be thoroughly critiqued by our super McNair-lovin’ faculty. But, I absolutely fear public speaking. Due to this, I have spent the majority of my years avoiding things like, uh, presenting — at all costs. But in academia land, I've learned something very important: There is no escape. Aside from whining, this really is an amazing opportunity that will help me in the long-run. I’m crossing my fingers that this w...

Just made my $600 second-to-last payment for my surgery! Let me reiterate: second to last . As in, my LAST payment for my surgery that is REALLY happening. I only have 299 dollars remaining until my surgery is paid for. I can’t believe that I’m this close. I remember not too long ago staring down the barrel of $6,000-$8,000 surgery, plus cost of board and travel. It just seemed, insurmountable to me. But through the discovery of a local surgeon and from all of the broke ass student saving up and support I’ve received, it’s really happening. I’m really $299 and 27 days away from a surgery that will positively alter my self-esteem - my life - in ways that I’ve never experienced and can barely imagine. Wow. I would like to extend my sincerest gratitude to everyone who has helped me get to this point. All of the enthusiasm, solidarity, and support has been indescribably touching, inspiring, and… just, thank you!!

This site is “dedicated to raising funds for surgeries necessary for Carter’s transition” - an FTM graduate student lacking mula and the support of his parents. His friends created this site to help him and have included a donate button, bracelets for sell, and even better - they’ve designed a series of mega-epic t-shirts (with more designs to come). The highlights: The cute factor of this slays me. How wily! This is, by far, one of the most adorably impressive trans fund-raisers I’ve ever stumbled across. Even though I’m hoarding all of my pennies for my very own surgery in 28 days !!!!!!, I had to contribute. I’ll try to abstain from such things until after my own freakin’ surgery. Irresistible, though. SUPPORT!

Today marks the beginning of my 1 month countdown to top surgery on August 11th. I need to get one of those little Christmas “advent” calendars with doors in it that I can open every day to retrieve a celebratory getting-closer treat! Less like this: And more like this: … but with deliciously crack-like Coconut Juices within instead of beer. I can’t believe that this surgery, which I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember, is actually, fo’ real real and not fo’ play play, only one month away . I’ve never experienced this kind of anticipation and excitement before and just… the reality of it hasn’t quite sunken in yet. It’s just, so unreal. And riveting. And indescribable. p O p!