I'm SO RAVENOUS. After that horrifying 6am incident yesterday morning, everything just continued to roll downhill. During lunch with a co-worker, she ordered one slice of pizza and I got two slices (sidenote: Este's pizza has the BEST vegan pizza, and my cute non-vegan co-worker ordered vegan!). While eating and conversing with one another, I felt something wet near my nostril. I got a tissue and dabbed at it a bit to discovered that yes, in fact, I had a popped pimple on my face. And so it begins.
Then, an hour after lunch, I felt ravenous again and in this desperate state of mind found myself away from work and at a little shop around the corner. I wandered in, grabbed a bag of Salt n' Vinegar chips, purchased them in this wild, frazzled state, then had devoured them by the time I got back to work.
After work, I got to the store as quickly as I could to stockpile on bananas, banana chips (I like bananas) oranges, trail mix, kale... things I can munch on throughout the day. In fact, I'm munching on banana chips while writing this.
In other news, my parents have been beyond supportive. My mom has gone with me to see my hormone doctor both times, and has been researching and asking a lot of questions. And the other day my dad told me, with the most serious of serious faces, "Mel, there's only one way I can accept this." "And that is...?" "If, once you grow facial hair, you grow out a goatee like mine." Not being a big fan of goatees, I instantly reacted, "Oh, no! There's no way!", to which he replied, "Mel, like I said. It's the only way I can accept this. It's all I ask. And, in addition to that, once you grow out said goatee and we look as much alike as possible, you hold my hand and skip around the store with me."
I agreed to his terms.
So today will be the first day I'll use the now-unisex-used-to-be-for-men-only bathroom near my office. All week I've been auto-piloting to the women's restroom, but not today! I shan't! The new sign for it came on Monday and they put it up. Fred from the HR department enthusiastically exclaimed, "The unisex bathroom sign is here!"
We got a sign that looks like this:
Is that me on the far right? I don't believe so. I mean, I do bicycle to work, but I don't bicycle into the bathroom.
This one would be a bit more accurate and I'm positive that everyone at our company would just love it (it says: "**It does not matter if you have a vagina, penis, or other, ALL bathrooms should be accessible to ALL people." and "**SHOULD be Accessible to Differently-Abled People."):
Note: As cute as it is, my co-worker, Patty, got a big vegan chocolate cake to share with everyone. I've already eaten two slices.
Then, an hour after lunch, I felt ravenous again and in this desperate state of mind found myself away from work and at a little shop around the corner. I wandered in, grabbed a bag of Salt n' Vinegar chips, purchased them in this wild, frazzled state, then had devoured them by the time I got back to work.
After work, I got to the store as quickly as I could to stockpile on bananas, banana chips (I like bananas) oranges, trail mix, kale... things I can munch on throughout the day. In fact, I'm munching on banana chips while writing this.
In other news, my parents have been beyond supportive. My mom has gone with me to see my hormone doctor both times, and has been researching and asking a lot of questions. And the other day my dad told me, with the most serious of serious faces, "Mel, there's only one way I can accept this." "And that is...?" "If, once you grow facial hair, you grow out a goatee like mine." Not being a big fan of goatees, I instantly reacted, "Oh, no! There's no way!", to which he replied, "Mel, like I said. It's the only way I can accept this. It's all I ask. And, in addition to that, once you grow out said goatee and we look as much alike as possible, you hold my hand and skip around the store with me."
I agreed to his terms.
So today will be the first day I'll use the now-unisex-used-to-be-for-men-only bathroom near my office. All week I've been auto-piloting to the women's restroom, but not today! I shan't! The new sign for it came on Monday and they put it up. Fred from the HR department enthusiastically exclaimed, "The unisex bathroom sign is here!"
We got a sign that looks like this:
Is that me on the far right? I don't believe so. I mean, I do bicycle to work, but I don't bicycle into the bathroom.
This one would be a bit more accurate and I'm positive that everyone at our company would just love it (it says: "**It does not matter if you have a vagina, penis, or other, ALL bathrooms should be accessible to ALL people." and "**SHOULD be Accessible to Differently-Abled People."):
Note: As cute as it is, my co-worker, Patty, got a big vegan chocolate cake to share with everyone. I've already eaten two slices.
As a gay man, I can attest that rarely do we gay guys peek over the tops of the stalls. Gloryholes, sure, but that's another story altogether. The real freak-out (and being pee-shy doesn't help) is when urinals are positioned next to each other without partitions. Even then, it becomes easy to peek over the top of the partition to view your neighbor's member. Can't say I've done this, but I keep expecting it to happen.
ReplyDeleteAs a tranny, I can attest that peeking over the top of stalls is the best and most preferred method of peeking at girls sitting on toilets.
ReplyDeleteOkay, but seriously, it's actually a one-person bathroom that locks. ;] However, in multiple-stall bathrooms, I *have* admittedly peeked over the stall at Gina more than once with my camera phone. See why she loves me so much?
ReplyDeleteAhh, worlds apart, worlds apart ...
ReplyDeleteOh yes, camera phones are dangerously fun tools! My gym actually posted a sign that said, "Please no taking photos in the locker room!" It wasn't up long, but I laughed when I saw it.
ReplyDeleteThat is so great and tragic that your gym had to actually post that. Hah!
ReplyDeleteYour parents are wonderful! Fucking fabulous!
ReplyDeleteMelhouse: Gina and Jude keep calling me a "big fat tranny"
ReplyDeleteTay McKinnon: Hooray! That must be fun.
Melhouse: oh, very
Melhouse: Very supportive
Tay McKinnon: You will be a big fat tranny soon enough, with all the ravenous eating and goatee action.
Melhouse: god, no shit
Tay McKinnon: It'll be real sexy. You'll get a lot of dates.
Melhouse: Holding hands with my dad. :(
Melhouse: OH GOD
Melhouse: I haven't even started posting about my increased sex drive
Melhouse: That's just some kind of fucked up irony
Tay McKinnon: Hahaha
Tay McKinnon: Ahh.
Tay McKinnon: Puberty is great
Tay McKinnon: I'm excited for the part where you masturbate in the bathroom to your moms sear's catalogs
Tay McKinnon: The intimates section.
Melhouse: Here I am with this ravenous appetite and fucking, grease/acne city, AND an increased sex drive? WHAT?
Melhouse: shut up
Tay McKinnon: :D
So exciting!!! I'm happy for you always <3
ReplyDelete