My chest exam went well this morning. Due to my concern that I'd potentially found a lump when I uncomfortably self-examined last week, I made an appointment with the closest place I could that would get me in the fastest - the primary objective being: get exam ASAP! I would've felt more comfortable waiting to see my for-sure trans-aware/friendly doctor, but the urgency compelled me to shoot in the dark and make an appointment with any doctor I could. I knew nothing about my doctor - gender, history, how this person would react to my being trans or the impact that would have on my exam. All I knew was that the hospital had rearranged some appointments to get me in faster and that this doctor had an opening.
I intentionally decided not to bind even though it was uncomfortable, especially now that I've experienced the sheer irresistible relief of it. However, I did wear a hoodie with a tight wind breaker that compresses to some extent and that helped. It also gave me less to remove once it came down to the part of the exam where I got to dawn a flattering hospital gown top thingamabop.
I filled out bundles of paperwork where one section asked me if I was taking any medication. I wrote down 'Testosterone Cypionate, 100mg, every 2 weeks'. I admittedly felt a little nervous about this since it's the first time I've had to write this down for a doctor I knew nothing about at a clinic I'd never been to before.
I sat in the exam room, waited, and eventually a woman entered who immediately struck me as warm and friendly. This was comforting. As she went through my paperwork, asking questions and scribbling stuff down. She eventually came across the medication portion and asked, "Why are you taking testosterone cypionate?", I wasn't entirely sure how to reply - whether to say it's because I have 'gender identity disorder' since that's the popular United States medical lingo for it (but I don't, at all, agree with or relate to that diagnosis) and opted to say, "Because I'm transgender." She then asked, "Female-to-male, I'm assuming?", and I nodded. It was a really uncomfortable moment, but her reaction was positive. She didn't look confused or judgmental. She just acted like it was any other question and I instantly felt more calm.
At some point during the paperwork she asked me who I normally see. I told her, then she mentioned that she has some other trans patients who have asked her for referrals to other trans-friendly/aware doctors. She was entirely sympathetic and understanding. Score!
This helped tremendously with the actual examination and she was very cautious and slow, making sure to explain where she was about to touch me and why. Eventually she had me lay down to feel around my chest area, which had me feeling the usual foreign/disconnected discomfort, but nothing psychologically or emotionally upsetting aside from being a bit anxious that she'd find something.
She then asked me to sit up. This was a bit more uncomfortable because she had to actually lift up my gown and directly look at my chest area. Having someone else, even a doctor, see this is partially uncomfortable, because it's an area of my body that just... isn't supposed to be there. It is, however, so the exam ensued. I caught glimpses of my own topless profile in a metal trash can across from the exam table and had to look up to avoid seeing it, which also helped.
Some of the results of the exam were interesting. My breast tissue was normal, fortunately, but my blood pressure has gotten a bit higher since I was last checked by my hormone doctor 49 days ago. It was less than 120, but now it's in the "Prehypertension-- Systolic: 120-139 mm" range - at around 128. This is definitely a byproduct of the testosterone therapy, which can contribute to raised blood pressure levels. It's because of this and other potential risk factors for heart disease such as increased lipid profile or polycythemia that I'm going to make sure to have my blood pressure levels monitored throughout taking T.
Common Ground Initiative - 1st Bill (Wrongful Death Amendment)
On two very grumpy notes, Utah can be a pretty frustrating place, especially when things happen politically and decisions are made by a bunch of legislators who seemingly have zero interest in actually representing their constituency.
I'm going to 'roid rage and blow off a little steam here. Yesterday was really, really disappointing. The first bill in the Common Ground Initiative was the 'Wrongful Death Amendment', which failed in committee by a vote of 4-2.
This bill would have allowed people to designate who has standing in a court of law if they die due to negligence or malpractice. Currently, anyone who does not qualify as a spouse or child has no recourse if their family member dies. Even though this bill blatantly has NOTHING to do with same-sex marriage, opponent after opponent testified that somehow passing this bill would lead to a challenge of Utah's definition of marriage. What the? They frequently used California as an example, even though California did not have a marriage amendment in place, which Utah does.
How clear can it be that the 6 bills under the Common Ground Initiative have nothing to do with same-sex marriage? It's 100% about LGBT people in Utah having basic rights and being tired of living as second-class citizens. Yet, they keep running on and on about the sanctity of same-sex marriage and our legislators actually buy into it and vote out of fear and ignorance.
Every single poll conducted about this has made it clear that the average Utahn supports these bills, even. Hopefully our legislators just need to be educated. Equality Utah has a nifty sample letter up on their site to help that I'm going to rip off, hand-write and mail in. I'll try to avoid saying "bullshit" and "second-class citizens" and will make it all peachy-creamy PLEASE REPRESENT ME friendly.
HB225: Anti-Trans Bill
Then, a bit of a status update with that anti-trans bill HB225 (my post about it here!) - Representative Wimmer is going forward with it and is entirely unwilling to drop it. Plus, the Utah Department of Public Safety has decided to support it "for law enforcement and liability issues". Ugh.
It's incredibly discouraging in a lot of ways some times living in one of the most conservative states in the nation, and not just politically. Even though I live in a liberal area and I have the fortune of having some really supportive social experiences, it feels like we're on an island surrounded by an ocean of hyper-conservative piranhas who have a vendetta against everything tolerant. I feel even worse for LGBT people living anywhere else in Utah, or any other red state.
Still, rationally and to get off of my soap box for a minute here, there is momentum. Incrementally, things are changing, getting better. Utahns are with us, which I wouldn't be saying just 5 or 10 years ago. It's just those pestery representatives that need to get with the program and actually do their job by, ya know, representing.
I intentionally decided not to bind even though it was uncomfortable, especially now that I've experienced the sheer irresistible relief of it. However, I did wear a hoodie with a tight wind breaker that compresses to some extent and that helped. It also gave me less to remove once it came down to the part of the exam where I got to dawn a flattering hospital gown top thingamabop.
I filled out bundles of paperwork where one section asked me if I was taking any medication. I wrote down 'Testosterone Cypionate, 100mg, every 2 weeks'. I admittedly felt a little nervous about this since it's the first time I've had to write this down for a doctor I knew nothing about at a clinic I'd never been to before.
I sat in the exam room, waited, and eventually a woman entered who immediately struck me as warm and friendly. This was comforting. As she went through my paperwork, asking questions and scribbling stuff down. She eventually came across the medication portion and asked, "Why are you taking testosterone cypionate?", I wasn't entirely sure how to reply - whether to say it's because I have 'gender identity disorder' since that's the popular United States medical lingo for it (but I don't, at all, agree with or relate to that diagnosis) and opted to say, "Because I'm transgender." She then asked, "Female-to-male, I'm assuming?", and I nodded. It was a really uncomfortable moment, but her reaction was positive. She didn't look confused or judgmental. She just acted like it was any other question and I instantly felt more calm.
At some point during the paperwork she asked me who I normally see. I told her, then she mentioned that she has some other trans patients who have asked her for referrals to other trans-friendly/aware doctors. She was entirely sympathetic and understanding. Score!
This helped tremendously with the actual examination and she was very cautious and slow, making sure to explain where she was about to touch me and why. Eventually she had me lay down to feel around my chest area, which had me feeling the usual foreign/disconnected discomfort, but nothing psychologically or emotionally upsetting aside from being a bit anxious that she'd find something.
She then asked me to sit up. This was a bit more uncomfortable because she had to actually lift up my gown and directly look at my chest area. Having someone else, even a doctor, see this is partially uncomfortable, because it's an area of my body that just... isn't supposed to be there. It is, however, so the exam ensued. I caught glimpses of my own topless profile in a metal trash can across from the exam table and had to look up to avoid seeing it, which also helped.
Some of the results of the exam were interesting. My breast tissue was normal, fortunately, but my blood pressure has gotten a bit higher since I was last checked by my hormone doctor 49 days ago. It was less than 120, but now it's in the "Prehypertension-- Systolic: 120-139 mm" range - at around 128. This is definitely a byproduct of the testosterone therapy, which can contribute to raised blood pressure levels. It's because of this and other potential risk factors for heart disease such as increased lipid profile or polycythemia that I'm going to make sure to have my blood pressure levels monitored throughout taking T.
Common Ground Initiative - 1st Bill (Wrongful Death Amendment)
On two very grumpy notes, Utah can be a pretty frustrating place, especially when things happen politically and decisions are made by a bunch of legislators who seemingly have zero interest in actually representing their constituency.
I'm going to 'roid rage and blow off a little steam here. Yesterday was really, really disappointing. The first bill in the Common Ground Initiative was the 'Wrongful Death Amendment', which failed in committee by a vote of 4-2.
This bill would have allowed people to designate who has standing in a court of law if they die due to negligence or malpractice. Currently, anyone who does not qualify as a spouse or child has no recourse if their family member dies. Even though this bill blatantly has NOTHING to do with same-sex marriage, opponent after opponent testified that somehow passing this bill would lead to a challenge of Utah's definition of marriage. What the? They frequently used California as an example, even though California did not have a marriage amendment in place, which Utah does.
How clear can it be that the 6 bills under the Common Ground Initiative have nothing to do with same-sex marriage? It's 100% about LGBT people in Utah having basic rights and being tired of living as second-class citizens. Yet, they keep running on and on about the sanctity of same-sex marriage and our legislators actually buy into it and vote out of fear and ignorance.
Every single poll conducted about this has made it clear that the average Utahn supports these bills, even. Hopefully our legislators just need to be educated. Equality Utah has a nifty sample letter up on their site to help that I'm going to rip off, hand-write and mail in. I'll try to avoid saying "bullshit" and "second-class citizens" and will make it all peachy-creamy PLEASE REPRESENT ME friendly.
HB225: Anti-Trans Bill
Then, a bit of a status update with that anti-trans bill HB225 (my post about it here!) - Representative Wimmer is going forward with it and is entirely unwilling to drop it. Plus, the Utah Department of Public Safety has decided to support it "for law enforcement and liability issues". Ugh.
It's incredibly discouraging in a lot of ways some times living in one of the most conservative states in the nation, and not just politically. Even though I live in a liberal area and I have the fortune of having some really supportive social experiences, it feels like we're on an island surrounded by an ocean of hyper-conservative piranhas who have a vendetta against everything tolerant. I feel even worse for LGBT people living anywhere else in Utah, or any other red state.
Still, rationally and to get off of my soap box for a minute here, there is momentum. Incrementally, things are changing, getting better. Utahns are with us, which I wouldn't be saying just 5 or 10 years ago. It's just those pestery representatives that need to get with the program and actually do their job by, ya know, representing.
Law enforcement and liability issues? What the hell does that mean? So if a cop pulls you over, and you are an F2M then what exactly he knows he really can't rough you up because your DL says you are female? What, I don't get it... have you found anything where they talk about why this is a needed law?
ReplyDeleteI watched the news about the Common Ground Initiative rejection by a 4-2 vote in committee. I wasn't too surprised, but what did surprise me was how focused the opponents were on "sanctity of marriage". Even my parents were annoyed by it. My mom said she doesn't understand where their logic is coming from, and she's not exactly a proponent of gay marriage.
ReplyDeleteKegg: I don't, but I will send it your way when I hear more. Fortunately it seems as though none of this will matter if Wimmer actually drops the bill!
ReplyDeleteBoyd: It has NOTHING to do with same-sex marriage! It's clear to Utahns, including your parents, just not our legislators. Yep, education needed.
ReplyDelete