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Baaaaah hump hump

There sure seems to be a grandiose amount of reproductive humping like crazed horny wabbits around April, June, and July. And all year 'round, actually. Still, just this past week two of my friends have had birthdays. Today is another friend's birthday and tomorrow is another friend's AND my brother's birthday. And on Sunday there's, you guessed it, ANOTHER BIRTHDAY. Wha!

On a slightly horrifying note, my dad e-mailed me something last week that was a bit... startling. See, my grandma is obsessed with genealogy and has compiled an extensive list of our dead and living relatives over the years. I'm sure it doesn't hurt that The Mormon Church has a big ol' collection of genealogy records to boot and that my ancestors were some of the original pioneers to come settle in Utah, land of Zion.

So, my grandma bumbles along, doing her genealogical thang, and sends her list along to my pops, who then does his nerd thang which results in finding an open source program that can sort out one's genealogy in a variety of ways - family tree, birthday calendar format, what have you.

And thus, he sends me a list of our LIVING relatives organized in a calendar form via birth dates.

Low and behold, I have living relative(s) on every.single.day of the year. I was stunned, looking down the never ending, vast list.

I asked my mom to select a date, any date, as random as she could fathom. "June 7th", she throws out. So I scroll down the massive list of my living relatives, and, whatdoyaknow, "I have a 3rd cousin named Elle, age 5. Pick another." , "February 1st.", oh, two listed! "A first cousin named Tanner, age 21, and a third cousin named James, age 24."

Some days there are literally over 12 relatives listed. Seriously, throw out any random date and I have a living relative or two or three or twelve who were born on that date. And that's just everyone I'm related to. Take every other living person on Earth and all of their living relatives and anticipated births... gadz. It's unfathomable.

Oh my proud, overpopulating LDS lineage.

Speaking of birthdays and rampant procreating, that birthday party I was invited to on Sunday is a 'girls only' toy party. Is it wrong that I prefer to not be seen as female in any way, shape, or form when it comes to baby showers, but, in this case, I'm entirely excited to make an exception just to go, have fun, and to also expose the ridiculousness of it, just a bit?

I hope I'm still invited when I have burly pube-like man hair all over my face.

I asked the hostess, "Are transgender people welcome?". It was obvious she didn't quite know what to say, exactly, but then replied, "Of course!", which then gave me this horribly itchy urge to find a way to somehow rope up as many intersex, gender variant, masculine-identified, genderqueer, trans, etc., folks as I can possibly muster to rain down a shower of diverse sprinkles on the nonsensical girl's only parade. I wouldn't, but the itch is there.

I'm sprinkly rain enough.

There's a part of me that feels like a wolf in a really cheap sheep costume who's been invited to an all-you-can-eat sheep buffet, which is very appealing.

Or maybe more of a sheep in a wolf costume wearing a sheep-like costume that feels like a wolf costume on the inside and confuses other sheep on the outside who still occasionally invite said sheep in a wolf costume wearing a sheep-like costume that feels like a wolf costume on the inside to nonsensical sheep only parties. Or uh, something. Anyway, long story short: some times binary gender has its perks. 'ish. But not really.



In other news, an awesome fellow blogger, Kammorremae, drew up the best thing yesterday.

On my Political Tranigans post he commented, "For some reason Mel, when I think about you fighting for equal rights, I get this mental picture of you, quite literally, fighting for your rights, dressed like a space marine from StarCraft or Warhammer 40k (might have to draw that...). I think you'll do a great job."

to which I replied, "Sounds like a pretty accurate interpretation to me. The actual costume is fashioned from a yellow leotard and a potato sack. I know it doesn't sound like much, but the yellow adds the umph and flexibility while the sack provides the durability. Practical, see. I'll consider the costume you've conveyed, however, especially if you had a picture to illustrate it."

And he did just that. Bad ass:
Vegan Battle Bot, concepts in pencil and ink

I'm sold.



Comments

  1. Oh noes! I have to whip up a final draft now! Damn you Mel!

    ReplyDelete

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