A bit of forewarning! These next couple of posts are going to be a bit broody. See, lately I've been feeling like the little engine that couldn't. putt putt putt...
Despite being surrounded by people who love and support me, some times it gets to me - the feeling that a lot of influential people in the state I've always called my home have a lot of fear and hate towards those of us who don't quite fit in the binary or heterosexual folds of life, which some of us experience in hyperdrive from a little red state bubble called Utah.
Yesterday the last two bills of the Common Ground Initiative were defeated and grody, hate-filled dust has been kicked up all over the place. For example, Utah representative Chris Buttars was recently quoted as saying "Homosexuality will always be a sexual perversion. And you say that around here now, and everybody goes nuts. But I don't care."
Then, referring to LGBQT activists, "They're mean. They want to talk about being nice. They're the meanest buggers I have ever seen. …It's just like the Muslims. Muslims are good people, and their religion is anti-war, but it's been taken over by the radical side. …They're probably the greatest threat to America going down I know of."
The fact that someone could actually say something like that and people re-elect him is entirely bewildering to me.
I've developed a pretty thick shell over time from living here and usually don't let things like this get to me. I remember one time, for example, when I was stopped on the street in downtown Salt Lake City by an older man who tapped me on the shoulder. He looked friendly enough, but then his face instantly turned into a grimace, "You know, God is going to descend, grab you from that nose ring of yours and drop you into the depths of hell.", to which I replied, "Oh, okay. Nice meeting you, too. You have a nice day, okay?", then I resumed walking, determined not to give him the pleasure of affecting me negatively.
I'm pretty good, in general, at being optimistic. Even with what's been going on in Utah politically I think about numerous pros, like how a.) things ARE going on, statistics and polls are in favor of progress and tolerance, b.) a lot of progress has been made, especially ideologically for many Utahns and c.) the anti-gay camp is successfully shining lights on themselves, which has been exposing a whole lotta ugly.
Still, after numerous directly experienced interactions like the one I referred to for as long as I can recall from other children or people who have been confused, hateful, or afraid, I found all of my strength in having a loving, supportive family. And, more recently, also in people I've been fortunate enough to find in my young adult life.
Anyway, this all reminds me of an article titled 'Understanding Homophobia' written by a feller named Paul Evensen after the passing of some anti-gay resolutions by the Greenville County Council. Of particular relevance:
Sigh. Usually my little mower is in full throttle. But, these past couple days I feel like I've been pushing the squishy button desperately trying to force gasoline into the lines, but it just won't budge. I've been pulling on the pull cord, but the engine keeps choking.
I forwarned!
On the plus side, tonight I'm going to be attending a public debate between Utah's LGBQT political advocacy group, Equality Utah (who pushed for the Common Ground Initiative) and the conservative think tank, The Sutherland Institute (who came up with some anti-gay booshit called the 'Sacred Ground Initiative').
The folk from Equality Utah are so frickin' eloquent and articulate that it's going to be tragic watching peeps from the Sutherland Institute trying to keep pace. It's just frustrating to know that there actually people out there who are receptive to the irrational arguments espoused from the God fearin' right-wingers, but those numbers are dwindling. And they know it. Panic! Say hateful things! Run anti-gay ads! Dominate the media! Threaten the legislators!
Go pull cord go! Pull! Pull!
Despite being surrounded by people who love and support me, some times it gets to me - the feeling that a lot of influential people in the state I've always called my home have a lot of fear and hate towards those of us who don't quite fit in the binary or heterosexual folds of life, which some of us experience in hyperdrive from a little red state bubble called Utah. Yesterday the last two bills of the Common Ground Initiative were defeated and grody, hate-filled dust has been kicked up all over the place. For example, Utah representative Chris Buttars was recently quoted as saying "Homosexuality will always be a sexual perversion. And you say that around here now, and everybody goes nuts. But I don't care."
Then, referring to LGBQT activists, "They're mean. They want to talk about being nice. They're the meanest buggers I have ever seen. …It's just like the Muslims. Muslims are good people, and their religion is anti-war, but it's been taken over by the radical side. …They're probably the greatest threat to America going down I know of."
The fact that someone could actually say something like that and people re-elect him is entirely bewildering to me.
Some say Buttars has gone too far with anti-gay statementsAnd just earlier this week a full-page, full-color ad ran in both the Salt Lake Tribune and Deseret News:
Utah State Sen. Chris Buttars isn't ashamed of his stand against what he has called the "homosexual agenda."
I've developed a pretty thick shell over time from living here and usually don't let things like this get to me. I remember one time, for example, when I was stopped on the street in downtown Salt Lake City by an older man who tapped me on the shoulder. He looked friendly enough, but then his face instantly turned into a grimace, "You know, God is going to descend, grab you from that nose ring of yours and drop you into the depths of hell.", to which I replied, "Oh, okay. Nice meeting you, too. You have a nice day, okay?", then I resumed walking, determined not to give him the pleasure of affecting me negatively.
I'm pretty good, in general, at being optimistic. Even with what's been going on in Utah politically I think about numerous pros, like how a.) things ARE going on, statistics and polls are in favor of progress and tolerance, b.) a lot of progress has been made, especially ideologically for many Utahns and c.) the anti-gay camp is successfully shining lights on themselves, which has been exposing a whole lotta ugly.
Still, after numerous directly experienced interactions like the one I referred to for as long as I can recall from other children or people who have been confused, hateful, or afraid, I found all of my strength in having a loving, supportive family. And, more recently, also in people I've been fortunate enough to find in my young adult life.
Anyway, this all reminds me of an article titled 'Understanding Homophobia' written by a feller named Paul Evensen after the passing of some anti-gay resolutions by the Greenville County Council. Of particular relevance:
The fear felt by the radical right operates on levels much deeper than just a fear of those different from themselves. It is based on the notion that since the "gay lifestyle" is a choice and gay couples cannot procreate, gay people must recruit. This is as simple as it appears: a fear based on utter ignorance of the dynamics of gay life. It is a premise so preposterous most liberals stop at this point and respond at this level. Liberals work to dispel this fear through various attempts at educating the right and the public in general. The fear they are fighting, however, runs profoundly deeper than they understand.
There is a fear venerated by the fundamentalist, worn as a badge of pride: the fear of God. Make no mistake, many people believe that fire could literally rain from heaven and destroy us for allowing gays in our midst. Even more people believe they will be held accountable when they get to heaven for not actively opposing gays. So the more deep-seated fear is of a punitive God who will bring retribution if the "gay scourge" is not removed from the land.
Read more >
Sigh. Usually my little mower is in full throttle. But, these past couple days I feel like I've been pushing the squishy button desperately trying to force gasoline into the lines, but it just won't budge. I've been pulling on the pull cord, but the engine keeps choking.
I forwarned!
On the plus side, tonight I'm going to be attending a public debate between Utah's LGBQT political advocacy group, Equality Utah (who pushed for the Common Ground Initiative) and the conservative think tank, The Sutherland Institute (who came up with some anti-gay booshit called the 'Sacred Ground Initiative').
The folk from Equality Utah are so frickin' eloquent and articulate that it's going to be tragic watching peeps from the Sutherland Institute trying to keep pace. It's just frustrating to know that there actually people out there who are receptive to the irrational arguments espoused from the God fearin' right-wingers, but those numbers are dwindling. And they know it. Panic! Say hateful things! Run anti-gay ads! Dominate the media! Threaten the legislators!
Go pull cord go! Pull! Pull!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-id4GKsaQk
ReplyDeleteKammorremae: HAH! Lewis Black is hilarious and spot on!
ReplyDeleteEver thought of moving?
ReplyDeleteOf course I have. It's incredibly tempting to experience living in a state or country where I could experience not being seen as inferior and 2nd class.
ReplyDeleteStill, this is where I've grown up. This is where my family and everyone I love live. This is my home and I have as much of a right to live here happily and peacefully as any heterosexual or gender binary person does. If every oppressed class just found somewhere to move or hide, how would anything change? How would oppressors, most of which don't intentionally mean to hurt anyone, ever be educated or change? How would they ever be exposed to the reality of how amazing and diverse minorities are, instead of remaining isolated and only hearing about these groups via ignorant myths?
Aside from some of the conservative radicals who dominate the state politically, this state is a really beautiful place. We're surrounded by mountains galore and I LOVE to backpack and hike. Bicycling in Salt Lake City is a piece of cake and there's a really nice, progressive culture here.
Some times I feel down about it, but it only gets to me on occassion. Most of the time the radical conservatives serve as a constant reminder of the change that needs to happen, the progress that must be made - and my experiences here have done a lot to shape me into the motivated, active person that I am today.
I pulled the cord during the debate tonight and the engine started up again. ;]
"If every oppressed class just found somewhere to move or hide, how would anything change?"
ReplyDeleteAgreed, but then again, you just defined the reason this nation was settled to begin with.
Kammorremae: Ha! So, so true.
ReplyDeleteChino Blanco: Yes, he should. Well put! Thanks for posting this comment!
ReplyDeleteIt's entirely true. The more exposure and light people like Buttars shine on themselves, the more embarrassing it all becomes for anyone to associate with anti-gay rhetoric.
I'm excited for the documentary. I'll be looking for it in July! Do you have a link?
Sorry, no link to the documentary. You wouldn't happen to have a link to video of the Sutherland-Equality cage match, would you?
ReplyDeleteIt's all so depressing to me too. I didn't realize all this was going on as I was in New York for the weekend (oh my, the beautiful diversity and androgeny that resides there!). Despite the fact that you have ties here, hey- the Mormons came here to escape persecution, as much as they may lament that they were driven out of Nauvoo by intolerant jerks. Apparently it's a culture of "get out if you don't like it". I plan to run with that, personally.
ReplyDelete