Last week I finally cracked and decided that I need to fork over some money for a bicycle helmet that had good ventilation and comfortableness! So off I went with my Andrew to the magical and alluring world of REI.
Tried helmets on.
Found a perfect one.
Then we went to the check out to purchase it.
When asked if I had a membership (I don't), Andrew was kind enough to offer his up. The employee rang me up. I handed her my debit card.
She looked at it, then up at me, then asked, "Melanie? Do you have an I.D. for this?". I handed it over to her. After looking at my I.D. for some time, then at me, eventually she awkwardly explained, "Oh, geez, my glasses today, I don't have them, .. can't see too well, uh.. so, yes, your total is..."
I keep experiencing awkward situations like this on a daily basis. Logistic issues. Prior to hormone therapy, I was visibly gender non-conforming. While I had more overt discriminatory experiences, this is different. I'm visibly more gender-conforming, but now it's triggering other issues entirely - particularly with navigating spaces that require my I.D., debit card, social security, etc.
I think it's time to have my name legally changed. I was planning to change my name and gender at the same time because it's such a headache to do either. But I'm reluctant about changing my gender, because the potential exists that I'll need a hysterectomy at some point. If I'm legally male, I'd be instantly flagged by insurance companies as a trans person. If I'm legally female, I may actually receive coverage.
On a side note, earlier tonight my brother and I went to dinner and a movie. At dinner, the server referred to us as "sweaty boys on bikes". And at the movie, I was carded but my brother wasn't - who's younger than me by two years. Ha!
Tried helmets on.
Found a perfect one.
Then we went to the check out to purchase it.
When asked if I had a membership (I don't), Andrew was kind enough to offer his up. The employee rang me up. I handed her my debit card.
She looked at it, then up at me, then asked, "Melanie? Do you have an I.D. for this?". I handed it over to her. After looking at my I.D. for some time, then at me, eventually she awkwardly explained, "Oh, geez, my glasses today, I don't have them, .. can't see too well, uh.. so, yes, your total is..."
I keep experiencing awkward situations like this on a daily basis. Logistic issues. Prior to hormone therapy, I was visibly gender non-conforming. While I had more overt discriminatory experiences, this is different. I'm visibly more gender-conforming, but now it's triggering other issues entirely - particularly with navigating spaces that require my I.D., debit card, social security, etc.
I think it's time to have my name legally changed. I was planning to change my name and gender at the same time because it's such a headache to do either. But I'm reluctant about changing my gender, because the potential exists that I'll need a hysterectomy at some point. If I'm legally male, I'd be instantly flagged by insurance companies as a trans person. If I'm legally female, I may actually receive coverage.
On a side note, earlier tonight my brother and I went to dinner and a movie. At dinner, the server referred to us as "sweaty boys on bikes". And at the movie, I was carded but my brother wasn't - who's younger than me by two years. Ha!
Yeah, I feel ya. I don't want to wait too long to get my name changed either. I wanted to do it all at once too, but it doesn't look like the gender marker will be changed for a while.
ReplyDeleteSweaty boys on bikes..lol. love it!
Jess: Exactly. I'd like to do them both at the same time, but... alas, the name change is more urgent, and the gender change can wait for a more opportune moment.
ReplyDeleteI love the "ewww boy" comments. They're fun, and reaffirm my gross hairy sweatiness. :]