I just got home from volunteering at the Equality Utah's Annual Allies Dinner where I learned that Equality Utah has only been around for 8 years. Seriously? Only 8 years? I was surprised because so much has happened in such a small amount of time. Going from just one out politician here in Utah to a whole slew of them AND allies, LGBT legislation, lobbyist trainings, on and on presently. It seems that even when progress happens incrementally - it does happen, and a whole lot faster than it feels.
This article makes me happy, too:
On more than one occasion I've walked in to the men's restroom aiming for a stall, but discover that someone is already sitting on the toilet in the one and only stall in the bathroom.
In contrast to most women's restrooms, there's almost always just one stall. The first time I was greeted with this scenario I waited for about 8 seconds listening to a guy doing his business from a stall in the otherwise silent atmosphere. Feeling uncomfortable, I stepped out and waited outside the door. Re-entered a few minutes later and he was still in the stall. Stepped out. Then another guy walked in and as soon as I heard the sink about a minute later, I re-entered to find the guy who was just in the stall washing his hands and the guy who had entered after me was now in the stall.
Gah!
The second time I was met with this scenario I didn't step out and instead waited awkwardly by the sinks as out-of-the-way of urinals or the stall possible. I looked at the floor, at the ceiling, ANYWHERE but the urinals; but the whole scenario was just, terribly awkward.
In a women's restroom, it was always self-explanatory. Stalls are all occupied? Form a line along the wall. Wait. In a men's restroom? There's rarely room for line formation and anywhere is awkwardly close to the urinals in most situations. So what's usual? What's normal wait-for-stall-in-mens-restroom etiquette? Is there any?
This article makes me happy, too:
What's Right With UtahMen's Restroom Etiquette
By Lisa Duggan
Forget everything you think you know about Utah. Yes, it's the reddest state in the union and the headquarters of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS). For the past twenty-five years, Republicans have had a virtual lock on statewide offices. Utah hasn't voted for a Democrat for president since 1964, and last year the state chose John McCain over Barack Obama by almost a 2-to-1 margin. Read More >
On more than one occasion I've walked in to the men's restroom aiming for a stall, but discover that someone is already sitting on the toilet in the one and only stall in the bathroom.
In contrast to most women's restrooms, there's almost always just one stall. The first time I was greeted with this scenario I waited for about 8 seconds listening to a guy doing his business from a stall in the otherwise silent atmosphere. Feeling uncomfortable, I stepped out and waited outside the door. Re-entered a few minutes later and he was still in the stall. Stepped out. Then another guy walked in and as soon as I heard the sink about a minute later, I re-entered to find the guy who was just in the stall washing his hands and the guy who had entered after me was now in the stall.
Gah!
The second time I was met with this scenario I didn't step out and instead waited awkwardly by the sinks as out-of-the-way of urinals or the stall possible. I looked at the floor, at the ceiling, ANYWHERE but the urinals; but the whole scenario was just, terribly awkward.
In a women's restroom, it was always self-explanatory. Stalls are all occupied? Form a line along the wall. Wait. In a men's restroom? There's rarely room for line formation and anywhere is awkwardly close to the urinals in most situations. So what's usual? What's normal wait-for-stall-in-mens-restroom etiquette? Is there any?
I usually pursue one of two courses: A) if I have some indication he's almost done (toilet paper rolling, shifting, etc.) I usually pretend to wash my hands/awkwardly hang out at the sink until he's out. B) If all I'm hearing is groaning, I leave and find another bathroom.
ReplyDeleteBonus tip: When there are multiple stalls, the closest stall to the door is usually the cleanest in men's room. The furthest is usually the most used and thus the dirtiest.
Thanks for volunteering last night!
And all ya wanna do it pee. **sigh**
ReplyDeleteCan't win in these bathrooms, can we? LOL
I would honestly just leave and try to find a restroom somewhere else. Props for waiting through the awkwardness.
Yes, men's room etiquette is a struggle to navigate. I can't speak for anyone else, but if the stalls are all occupied, and I need to use one, I leave, just as you did and come back at a later time. Hopefully it isn't an emergency situation. :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have it down though. Don't look at the urinals if someone is using them, because that can make some guys feel uncomfortable.
But I already have numerous public restroom issues, so maybe someone without so many neuroses could help. :)
I just wait outside the stalls, in the room - otherwise, as you've learned, you aren't considered "in line".
ReplyDeleteI learned overseas not to talk while waiting - seems pretty common world-wide male thing to not talk mch in a bathroom.
If the odor gets too great find another washroom. :-)
Have fun!
Will: Ha! Thanks for the extra tip about which stall to aim for. Closest stall to the door it is.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, thank YOU for being so amazing. All of the tedious lobbying, your work in Equality Utah, the debate with Sutherland, at the allies dinner, at the panel last night fighting for your trans allies, and on and on and on. You're wonderful and inspiring. :]
Jess: Well, I do have my nifty piss n' packer for urinals. However, I still haven't had the nerve to use it in public. One day!
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, one perk of mens restrooms is not experiencing the anxiety I'd become familiar with throughout the years of using womens, where security is called or I'm told that I'm in the wrong place.
But now? I'm experiencing the cons of awkward stall waiting in a potent air soup of fecal matter and urine. What a world, what a world. ;]
Boyd: Ha! Thanks for the tips. I'll probably opt to just wander off and aim for another bathroom. Or get up the nerve to start using my piss n' packer at urinals.
ReplyDeleteelectricbob: The odor is amazing. After 8 months of this I still haven't acclimated to it. Ew.
ReplyDelete