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Manscaping

And so begins the process of manscaping. What all started out as fun and games has now become a rampant mess of body hair whose length and thickness seem to know no bounds. My leg hair, for example, grows so long that it literally starts to curl at the tips, even down by my ankles. Some hairs are longer than others.

I could go on with more details, but I'll spare you. Long story short, today I cracked and went out to purchase my first ever manscaping tool kit. I had no idea what I was looking for, exactly, but landed myself in an aisle packed full of various "Body & Back Groomer" products, which were somewhat larger and distinct from facial hair grooming kits. After comparing options and prices, I ultimately decided on the Remington Extendable Body & Back Groomer - extendable for those "hard to reach" places like the butt or upper back.

Lovely.

I haven't tried it out yet. I'm sure that I'll probably make an embarrassing patchy mess of myself, but how else does one learn?

Also earlier today I couldn't resist purchasing some puffy classic monster stickers at a little LGBQT trinket shop next door to a coffee shop. While checking out, the cashier examined my debit card and asked, "May I see your I.D., please?" When I handed it over, she asked, "Melanie, seriously?", to which I replied, "Yes. I'm transgender."

She looked a little caught off guard by my forwardness - or confused, or something - but, in the end, she accepted my card, handed me my puffy classic monster stickers, and even gave me three of her cough drops for the road (I'm all stuffy and coughing today. Recovering from cold-like symptoms derived from the Marilyn Manson concert I went to last Saturday with my mom - who hadn't been to a concert in 35 years! - and two friends. One of these friends, Erin, slithered up as close to the stage as she could muster just to be in a sauna of sweaty wet bodies and Manson's alcohol spitting on the crowd. I blame her for all of us now being sick with the exception of my healthy tough mom).

Comments

  1. dude Im getting hairy too. All over, its nuts. Take pics!

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  2. Good luck with the manscaping...I hope you don't end up looking like you've got a bad case of mange... lol... all jokes aside though, Ima need you to fill me in on how the remington does...I'm kind of on the market, just for different reasons.

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  3. It was worth it, just think...we are among the many who can say they caught a disease from Marylin Manson. We're just lucky ours is only temporary!

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  4. Wow, you went to see Marilyn Manson with your mom? That's pretty awesome in fairness :)

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  5. Jess: I will, soon! You should, too. I had no idea the body hair would kick in so hardcore. I'm turning into a cub.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tommy: I'm a werewolf fan. I'd learn to own it. Or, at the least, manscape it. I'll let you know how Sir Remington handles my mange.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kegg: I'll never forgive you, spit-covered carrier of disease!

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  8. Vicki: I had to throw in that side-boast. Especially since it's been 35 years since she's been to a concert. She even wore this little flower dress and some jeans that I suspect she wore for whatever concert she went to last.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yeah, just one month into T and I the hair on my upper legs and arms is already starting to get darker. I don't mind so far. If I start getting hair on my back and shoulder, then I'm definitely gonna have to manscape!

    ReplyDelete

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