Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints.

That gender topic sure does come up a lot, especially now that I'm transitioning. In general peeps around me seem to be very perplexed by why I'd want to "transition", but have no desire to necessarily identify as "male" (I'm indifferent when it comes to whatever pronouns or gender reference someone uses towards me). For me, as I briefly explained in my first post , my transitioning has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with experiencing what I'd describe as a "physiological disconnect". I want to experience what it's like to actually connect with my body in this one and only life time. Why does that have to have anything to do with my gender identity? Before I start chopping away at this, I'd like to clarify so there aren't terminology barriers. In a nutshell, here's how I understand gender, all of which is a social construct. Gender - Self-expression, performance, actions, behavior, dress, grooming of cul...

This is one of the best self-injection videos I've stumbled across! I found this video via this online forum I also just recently joined called The Men's Room : "Private community for female to male (FTM) individuals to share information, find answers, gain support, and build community for transmen."

New Years Eve. I remember the first time I went out to a New Years Eve party and being completely caught off-guard when midnight rolled around and suddenly corks were flying, alcohol was spraying, and drunk lips were being hurdled towards my face. Last year I had a plan. When 11:58 rolled along, I conveniently inched away towards the bathroom, shut myself inside, and when I came out my poor friends were covered in alcohol. Not me! This year, however, I was at a club... and not as successful. As it turns out, in clubs, it doesn't seem to matter if it's midnight or not. People are intoxicated and want to place their mouths on others. I got drunken kissed-on-the-hand, drunken cheek-kissed multiple times, drunken mouth kissed twice, and sober midnight kissed once. One kiss entailed someone actually holding my jaw with a firm grip as I turned my face the opposite direction, forcing it... forcing it... and then my ear plug popped out and shattered the moment it hit the ground. I ...

Now that I have this spiffy camera I have the ability to take a series of incredibly unflattering pictures of my transition. Despite the reality that this won't, in the slightest, ever aid in my getting a date, it will at least be interesting to actually have these changes documented, in the most brutally honest lighting possible. I'll post photos every 2 weeks, after every injection. Keep in mind, I'm not a photo snapping sort of person, so this is extremely unnatural for me. These are also some of the most scandalous photos of me in existence. Note: Since these are all only 2 weeks into taking T, there aren't any significant changes I've noticed aside from body odor, sweating more, feeling like I'm starving to death all of the time, increased sex drive, acne development, having much greasier hair, and a few facial whiskers trying to pop up here and there. 2 Weeks on Testosterone Cypionate, 100mg every 2 weeks Stomach (hair growth + fat redistribution)...

I spent the night at my parent's place on Christmas Eve. My friend, Anika, made super delicious Indian food with my brother. We all gobbled it up before dashing off to the extended family party. My grandma ended up giving me a massive pile of really interesting, progressive books. She had some in a box already and also let me pick some from her shelf. She gave me The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, Ain't Nobody's Business: The Absurdity of Consensual Crimes , The Subjection of Women by John Stuart Mill, The Humanist Alternative , Middlesex , one about the history of conservative thought, a slew of feminist books... she also gave me a book of poetry from an older woman named Ethal who she wants me to meet soon after reading it. Apparently this woman is about 88 years old, lives in Salt Lake City, and is "the most radical woman" my grandmother has ever known. I'm excited to read it and to meet this Ethal! And to think, my grandma and grandpa were raised LDS...

Today feels like the first day my body realized a fierce and mighty war is afoot. For years my mind has been sitting in the corner mumbling and grumbling while my body is out in the spot light, living it up. But now, the playing field has changed. Estrogen is charging, testosterone is gaining in strength. Little do they know that, right at the cusp, right when they meet in the middle and think that one is going to slaughter the other, I'm going to descend from the sky wearing a bright yellow cape over a glistening leotard tightly cinching a mighty cod piece, holding a sparkling wand and dawning a full, thick beard - and then, I shall mediate. I will tell them to stop quivering with rage, to shake hands, hug, and to agree to disagree. In just this small amount of time I've noticed a gradual, but swift, change in my body fat. On a very exciting note, I noticed something while my mind oogled the change in body fat, even facially. I have THREE NEW WHISKERS! I have one new one on ...

This is embarrassing. My co-worker caught me reading about how to shave. I was taking notes and everything. "apply warm, wet towel to face for 3 min", "apply shave gel", "shave with grain"... no facial hair yet, but, there ain't no thang wrong with being prepared! Hudson's Guide: All About Shaving