Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints.

I'm due for another doctor appointment. I need to have my hormone levels checked! Since this is my first year on hormone therapy I'm supposed to have my levels checked every 6 months. I wasn't planning to be unemployed and to lose my health insurance, especially so soon into this process. So now I'm nervous about even having the ability to afford the preventative care that I need. But I definitely need to figure out how to make it happen. Without having my hormone levels checked, I'll have no idea if I'm injecting the right dose or not. Related to this, I'm dreading my next pap smear. My stomach knots up just thinking about it. There are a million other awful things I'd prefer - even being locked in an isolation chamber with my eyeballs taped open watching Barney and Friends. And that's saying something. With pap smears, I should have one done at least every 2 years. I had one in January, which was no easy task. In order to complete it succe...

I absolutely have to share this amazing article that just popped up in The New York Times today, spurred from controversy in regards to champion runner Caster Semenya's sex: Where’s the Rulebook for Sex Verification? The only thing we know for sure about Caster Semenya, the world-champion runner from South Africa, is that she will live the rest of her life under a cloud of suspicion after track and field’s governing body announced it was investigating her sex. Read More > This article is so good. Sex is messy. And quite the conundrum at times when one doesn't fit the gender binary myth. This is exactly why I've never felt comfortable identifying as "female-to-male" - it feels like a reinforcement of the binary. And an inaccurate descriptor. Yes, I was assigned female at birth - but that didn't make me a cisgender woman. And hormone therapy doesn't inherently make me "man". I'm the same gender now as I was then - even if we lack th...

Trans-Ponder Interviews Kate Lynn Blatt About Manpower Request For Photo Of Genitals by: Autumn Sandeen Thu Aug 20, 2009 at 18:30:00 PM EDT From Trans-Ponder's Episode 134 - Show me yours and I'll not show you mine! comes an interview of Kate Lynn Blatt, the person who was asked to have a photo taken of her genitalia to work for Manpower, Inc. Read More >

Exciting things are happening in Salt Lake City, Utah! Last night there was a panel specifically about employment discrimination based on gender identity and a proposed diversity bill. It received a fair amount of media coverage, like this article in the Salt Lake Tribune: After losing her job, transgender Utahn fights workplace discrimination Salt Lake City resident Candice Metzler wanted to let her work colleagues see the transition she already had begun in her personal life. Known to them as a man, Metzler wore mascara, eyeliner and white-tipped acrylic nails to a company barbecue. Read more > or this coverage from Fox 13: link no longer available It's refreshing to see that there's friendlier coverage of transgender people, even in such a conservative GOP state. The above coverage even ended with: "if you're an employer open to hiring transgender individuals" there's a link on their site to DiversityJobs.com ! Just 6 months ago the bills und...

I just got home from volunteering at the  Equality Utah's Annual Allies Dinner where I learned that Equality Utah has only been around for 8 years. Seriously? Only 8 years? I was surprised because so much has happened in such a small amount of time. Going from just one out politician here in Utah to a whole slew of them AND allies, LGBT legislation, lobbyist trainings, on and on presently. It seems that even when progress happens incrementally - it does happen, and a whole lot faster than it feels. This article makes me happy, too: What's Right With Utah By Lisa Duggan Forget everything you think you know about Utah. Yes, it's the reddest state in the union and the headquarters of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS). For the past twenty-five years, Republicans have had a virtual lock on statewide offices. Utah hasn't voted for a Democrat for president since 1964, and last year the state chose John McCain over Barack Obama by almost a 2-to-1 ma...

I've been out of commission for about a week now due to a spinal disc herniation . It stems from an accident that I was in when I was 17-years-old. As I was crossing at a crosswalk with a friend, I was hit by a car going ~40 mph. Since then I've experienced chronic back pain. And my back will literally go out, to the extent that I'm unable to walk for about a week, about once or twice a year. Eventually as I regain mobility, I am able to hobble about with a cane. Today I'm back in action: sitting upright, walking around, scooting, and bicycling! While down for the count, I got a lot of reading accomplished. One thing I stumbled across was an article in Bizarre Magazine about a trans guy named Adrian . When explaining my own transition and how I see it as separate from masculinity/femininity or gender altogether, the response is usually a confused one. It's generally understood, it seems, that there are female-to-male and male-to-female transsexuals. As in, one...

Fueled by Testosterone™ and Stupidity®, 2009.

I attended TransAction 's "Community Collaboration Meeting" earlier in preparation of Trans Awareness Month ( November ). Good things are coming! Generally, every year there's one event during Trans Awareness Month that I've been aware of: a candlelit vigil in remembrance of trans individuals who have been murdered or assaulted. While it is always emotionally provoking and helps to raise awareness about trans discrimination, it's also terrifying. As I've mentioned before, the rampant prevalence of violence against trans individuals is precisely why I feel like I have to go by masculine pronouns once I started taking hormones in order to just experience a match between my brain-map and anatomy. Why I feel like I have only two options to choose from in the social arena - "man" or "woman" - and man is the safest for me to navigate through. Even though I genuinely identify as a gender identity separate from cisgender men - or "man...

On a not uplifting note, a Myspace page was brought to my attention today. It's a page seemingly created by the brother of Allen Ray Andrade - in his defense. Andrade was convicted of the First Degree Murder of a transgender woman named Angie Zapata- an incident that his brother and other family members refer to as Andrade's "one mistake". For instance, his brother comments: "People THINK that they know my brother based on the ONE mistake that he made last year. Well, you don't. See, he's a BROTHER, SON, uncle, nephew, grandson, cousin, and friend. He's never denied his identity as a straight male. NEVER. My brother loves WOMEN...the kind GOD makes with vaginas, fallopian tubes, uteruses, periods. -- In my opinion, God gives WOMEN the opportunity to co-create with him. It's an opportunity that surgery or mindset can not achieve. It never will. -- Now, that's not to say that I believe all women should bear children. Some can't for w...

The time has come for another photo documentation session. What must be done... must be done. 234 (I think?) Days on Testosterone Cypionate, 100mg every 2 weeks - approximately 8 months!

Last week I finally cracked and decided that I need to fork over some money for a bicycle helmet that had good ventilation and comfortableness! So off I went with my Andrew to the magical and alluring world of REI. Tried helmets on. Found a perfect one. Then we went to the check out to purchase it. When asked if I had a membership (I don't), Andrew was kind enough to offer his up. The employee rang me up. I handed her my debit card. She looked at it, then up at me, then asked, " Melanie ? Do you have an I.D. for this?". I handed it over to her. After looking at my I.D. for some time, then at me, eventually she awkwardly explained, "Oh, geez, my glasses today, I don't have them, .. can't see too well, uh.. so, yes, your total is..." I keep experiencing awkward situations like this on a daily basis. Logistic issues. Prior to hormone therapy, I was visibly gender non-conforming. While I had more overt discriminatory experiences, this is differen...