Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints.

This week... I woke up Saturday clearly infected and all sickly goopy phlegm-city gross. By Sunday, my throat was sore and my head felt like it was going to 'plode from all of the congested pressure. Yet, due to my friend acquiring tickets literally months in advance for a demolition derby, I abstained from sleep. I slugged it to the demolition derby where I enjoyed watching all the cars smash and mash (and, most of all, the people watching) via a blurred out stuffy congestion sick-ville sleepy filter. Despite the sick factor, it was a lot of fun. I can't quite pinpoint why, but demolition derbies are the only things I actually want to get tickets for and go watch. No sports, no plays, no symphonies, no concerts really - but demolition derbies? Sign me up! While there, Erin (who really visibly gender non-conforming) asked if I wouldn't mind going to the men's restroom with him (he always uses women's restrooms, but felt too uncomfortable to do so at the der...

I was fortunate enough to land a student job at my school, but have experienced a technical difficulty with the paperwork after my soon-to-be employers called  The Social Security Administration (SSA). On my first day I was told to visit the campus Human Resources (HR) department to fill out paperwork in order to be officially employed. I did so and the next day I received an e-mail requesting that I return to the HR office to discuss some things. Hrm. I was informed that part of the employee verification process is done through a system called  E-Verify, which apparently involves my social security number. The results said that my number is real, but that the information provided it isn't matching up. The HR employee was clearly baffled and admitted that this was the first time they'd had E-Verify reject a social security number. I told her that I had my name legally changed recently and maybe it wasn't updated yet in the social security database. She provided ...

Since becoming a student again I haven't had a chance to watch much television, which has brought me much Battlestar Galactica and Shield-deprived woe. But once upon a Wednesday evening as I passed through the front room while my parents watched television something sparkly and gaytastic snagged at my peripheral vision. I stopped, turned... ... to be greeted by this performance: What the?  Did I really witness such an epic display of visible queerness all over mainstream television!? I had always assumed that only the most bland of acts would make it so far on a casting show like America's Got Talent - but, there was Prince Poppycock all over the screen owning it. In one performance he even gives tribute to Harvey Milk and Rosa Parks. School Gender Dynamics To my knowledge, none of my peers at school know that I am transgender. Which is really uncomfortable and weird to me, being inadvertently stealth. When the topic of gender pops up in my classes, I really w...

There are so many ways to celebrate the awesomeness of my dazzling and entirely legal first name. For example, look what brand of shoes Payless sells and that I now own a pair of: YES. And there are others, too - with Dexter sprawled on the sides or back, ranging from $10-$20. Oh, and look at this pen that I found: Yes, that IS a "D". And yes, those are jewels on it. Jealous much? Kitty Time Since I mentioned my rabble rouser kitty cat Theseus in my last post, I thought I'd post these fairly recent images of her in crazy town.  Throughout my years of co-habitating with my feline companions, whenever I buy some special cat toy or bed, it goes unused. They generally opt to play with little milk rings or sleep in shoe boxes or something that doesn't cost me anything. With Theseus, she actually uses every single cat trinket I've purchased - for example, a slumber ball (cat version of a bean bag), her cozy heated cabin, little cat crinkle...

Today did not start out well. I spent all night studying for today's test. When I finally passed out, I set two alarms. Before I nodded off, I got a school outfit ready and packed my bag. As I attempted to sleep throughout the night, my cat Theseus laid on my head. Then purred in my face. Then pawed at my nose. Then used the litter box three times. Then knocked something off a shelf. Then meowed at my bedroom door. Meanwhile my other cat, the old and bitter Evilbunny, did the same - hassling me to no end, all night long. Which is abnormal. I woke up on and off, over and over. The worst.sleep.ever. And finally, at 6:00am, my alarm went off. I turned it off. 20 minutes later my second alarm went off. And woke up to both of my cats glaring at me, wide awake and excited that I, too, was now awake. Low and behold, my cats had about 5 kibble bits of food in their bowl (i.e. they had some food, but were panicking about running low on food. Seriously.) Whhhhyyyyy!!!!! Oy'. I wo...

I have mentioned the neuroscientist Vilayanur S. Ramachandran on and off throughout the life span of this blog. As a reminder, he's well-known for his research with phantom limb syndrome and has recently displayed an interest in transsexuals. I found a video of him speaking about someone who had his corpus callosum severed - making it so that his right and left hemispheres could no longer communicate. Thing is, one hemisphere was atheist and the other theist. To which Ramachandran asked, "If this person dies, does one hemisphere go to heaven and the other go to hell?" Interesting!

This is what I got for lunch today:  P&B on whole wheat, mixed fruit, chocolate chips, and little gummy bunnies.  My mom is beyond sweet for making these lunches for me. I love it. My neuropsychology professor revealed during class that she was going to show us a "treat" tomorrow after our anxiety-inducing test. After class she admitted to me that she was going to attempt to take us to the lab where we'll get to see a real-life human brain. I really, really hope that this happens. With anatomy-like courses that require such a vast quantity of memorization, I feel anxious. My memorization is terrible, but I've discovered a nifty tool that is helping a great deal. It's called Anki , which is Japanese for "memorization". The method built into Anki involves a memorization algorithm called the SM2 algorithm: The SM2 algorithm, created for SuperMemo in the late 1980s, forms the basis of the spaced repetition methods employed in...

Living out in the middle of nowhere (i.e. not downtown) with my parents has done wonders for my ability to study. I'm buffered from social temptations by miles of sprawled Utah roads and my phobic-about-school-so-I'm-obsessing. Speaking of, there's a new social phenomenon going on at school that I recognize, but I'm not adjusted to. I'm calling it "bro-bonding". It's not a bad thing, just ... different . I'm also noticing some interesting gender binary dynamics on campus. For instance, in many of my classes the students who choose to sit next to me are (presumably) cisgender men. And I'm included in their conversations, which consist of a lot of "dude" and "man" and "bro. This didn't happen when I was visibly queer. And then I'm receiving negative feedback when I lean in to hug a man. For instance, the other day my dad and I visited my grandparents for my grandpa's 80th birthday ( side story: when w...

School has been good socially different for me in many unprecedented ways. My stigmatized identity (queer/transgender) seems to be concealable now, which is strange for me. Prior to going back to school, I have had all of the same friends since starting hormone therapy. So everyone knows that I'm queer. I haven't had a lot of social exposure outside of my friends and family. And now on campus I'm having a lot of consistent exposure to new people. Meaning, I'm very new to this "coming out" scenario. I've decided that I'm going to stick to the policy I've had my entire life - just, being my genuine, open self as though I'm living in a world free of prejudice toward sexual minorities. Campus LGBQT Group Last week I found out about an LGBQT student group on campus during the campus club fair. I attended the campus club fair with a group of fellow students, none of whom know that I'm transgender. When I walked up to the LGBQT table to sign u...