Since becoming a student again I haven't had a chance to watch much television, which has brought me much Battlestar Galactica and Shield-deprived woe. But once upon a Wednesday evening as I passed through the front room while my parents watched television something sparkly and gaytastic snagged at my peripheral vision.
I stopped, turned...
... to be greeted by this performance:
What the? Did I really witness such an epic display of visible queerness all over mainstream television!?
I had always assumed that only the most bland of acts would make it so far on a casting show like America's Got Talent - but, there was Prince Poppycock all over the screen owning it. In one performance he even gives tribute to Harvey Milk and Rosa Parks.
School Gender Dynamics
To my knowledge, none of my peers at school know that I am transgender. Which is really uncomfortable and weird to me, being inadvertently stealth. When the topic of gender pops up in my classes, I really want to contribute. But, I'm not sure how my words are being filtered now.
For example, the other morning a professor lectures about sexual biology. For a fleeting second. She talked about XY and XX. Men and women. Then, for "other" developments, a couple of syndromes. She mentioned some terms, like "sex", "gender", and "gender identity" - but didn't really distinguish between them too much. Nothing about intersex or transgender. She didn't ask for input or feedback before moving on to the next topic - but I felt this gnawing itch to say something to highlight that the complexities of sexual development are not that simple.
It pained me within. But I abstained, resolving to instead talk to her after class.
I hope that by showing interest after class it will lead to being able to talk about it more in class. I know that it's not just a trans-captivating topic; gender/sexual biology and corresponding behavior is a topic that's interesting to a lot of peeps.
I think so, anyway.
Also, in many of my classes there have been prevailing stereotypes about individuals who are perceived to be cisgender men being synonymous with oppressive majority. Which, subsequently, has me feeling really uncomfortable about lending any input on discussion of minority issues. In other words, while my stigmatized identity (queer) used to be visible for most of my life, it's not concealable. And I'm stereotyped accordingly. Still, I'll raise my hand on occasion and participate anyway.
Student Employment
I officially started working with the student government Monday. Apparently I'm technically a marketing intern, which means that aside from web development I also get to do things like wear neon yellow shirts and peddle fliers about student events to other students.
I'm also invited to partake in school-funded student government road trips. Next week, for example, we're all carpooling out to Price, Utah to "reflect positively on the school.", where I'm to talk about web accessibility for students with disabilities and other design elements that I'll incorporate into our new school site(s).
Honestly, it makes me a little nervous - the idea of traveling with the other students. I'm friendly, but for whatever reasons I recognize that I'm a bit distant and guarded about getting too close to fellow students. I'm reserved about myself personally and feel anxious about knowing anyone outside of school. I'm not quite sure why this is, but I recognize it's happening.
Despite this anxiety that I can't quite pinpoint, I'm going to do my best to go on the road trip. It's just so, unfamiliar, I think. Something. I'll figure it out.
Also, yesterday between classes I walked around campus with my pen and notepad looking for single-stall unisex bathrooms. I found four total thus far, which I want to incorporate into a little map and bring to the LGBQT student group meeting, whenever that happens. I'll find out and scribble it into my calendar. Having a map for other students will be great in terms of knowing where the unisex bathrooms are so trans* students can navigate them safely.
I stopped, turned...
... to be greeted by this performance:
What the? Did I really witness such an epic display of visible queerness all over mainstream television!?
I had always assumed that only the most bland of acts would make it so far on a casting show like America's Got Talent - but, there was Prince Poppycock all over the screen owning it. In one performance he even gives tribute to Harvey Milk and Rosa Parks.
School Gender Dynamics
To my knowledge, none of my peers at school know that I am transgender. Which is really uncomfortable and weird to me, being inadvertently stealth. When the topic of gender pops up in my classes, I really want to contribute. But, I'm not sure how my words are being filtered now.
For example, the other morning a professor lectures about sexual biology. For a fleeting second. She talked about XY and XX. Men and women. Then, for "other" developments, a couple of syndromes. She mentioned some terms, like "sex", "gender", and "gender identity" - but didn't really distinguish between them too much. Nothing about intersex or transgender. She didn't ask for input or feedback before moving on to the next topic - but I felt this gnawing itch to say something to highlight that the complexities of sexual development are not that simple.
It pained me within. But I abstained, resolving to instead talk to her after class.
I hope that by showing interest after class it will lead to being able to talk about it more in class. I know that it's not just a trans-captivating topic; gender/sexual biology and corresponding behavior is a topic that's interesting to a lot of peeps.
I think so, anyway.
Also, in many of my classes there have been prevailing stereotypes about individuals who are perceived to be cisgender men being synonymous with oppressive majority. Which, subsequently, has me feeling really uncomfortable about lending any input on discussion of minority issues. In other words, while my stigmatized identity (queer) used to be visible for most of my life, it's not concealable. And I'm stereotyped accordingly. Still, I'll raise my hand on occasion and participate anyway.
Student Employment
I officially started working with the student government Monday. Apparently I'm technically a marketing intern, which means that aside from web development I also get to do things like wear neon yellow shirts and peddle fliers about student events to other students.
I'm also invited to partake in school-funded student government road trips. Next week, for example, we're all carpooling out to Price, Utah to "reflect positively on the school.", where I'm to talk about web accessibility for students with disabilities and other design elements that I'll incorporate into our new school site(s).
Honestly, it makes me a little nervous - the idea of traveling with the other students. I'm friendly, but for whatever reasons I recognize that I'm a bit distant and guarded about getting too close to fellow students. I'm reserved about myself personally and feel anxious about knowing anyone outside of school. I'm not quite sure why this is, but I recognize it's happening.
Despite this anxiety that I can't quite pinpoint, I'm going to do my best to go on the road trip. It's just so, unfamiliar, I think. Something. I'll figure it out.
Also, yesterday between classes I walked around campus with my pen and notepad looking for single-stall unisex bathrooms. I found four total thus far, which I want to incorporate into a little map and bring to the LGBQT student group meeting, whenever that happens. I'll find out and scribble it into my calendar. Having a map for other students will be great in terms of knowing where the unisex bathrooms are so trans* students can navigate them safely.
Always always always always comment in class! Books are not always the most accurate or up to date, and unless you are sparking up debate and conversation no one is really learning anything. Sure she has a “presentation” but what kind of teacher can’t field questions outside of what they’ve prepared for?
ReplyDeleteStudent counsel, frat boys... next thing you know you're going to want to go to a football game! OH WAIT....
Kegg: The thing is, I already do most of the commenting - I think because it's an 8am class. When the teacher asks a question or attempts to spur dialog, everyone just sits there, blank and crusty-eyed.
ReplyDeleteSo, I already spur most of the dialog and do most of the commenting; so, I try to be selective about it.
You're right, though. I'm just going to go for it from now on, and I bet the teacher would appreciate it. :]
Pssht on the football. You're just as morbidly curious as I am, chump.