Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints.

I feel so lethargic 2-3 days prior to my hormone therapy injection day. I'm entirely unmotivated. Apparently this is what is referred to as " the valley " and it's not fun. Like all things, it seems, what goes up must come down. I have a lot of energy and motivation immediately after my injection. And it lasts for about a week. For instance, the last time I injected I ended up staying up all night working and only slept about 4 hours. And then I woke up and worked more. Then, throughout the week, I bicycled all over the place, went hiking, socialized - basically, I had a lot of energy. And then I start to putter out. putt... putt... putt... The puttiest of putt days is today. I got 10 hours of sleep last night, yet I'm feeling absolutely exhausted. My brain is feels like a muddy puddle - a fog. Uggggh.

I need to refill my prescription, soon. I have one needle and enough testosterone cypionate for one injection remaining. I don't have health insurance, but absolutely need to make an appointment with my doctor to get a prescription and to have my hormone levels checked. There are a lot of health issues that could arise from hormone therapy that really need to be carefully monitored. According to Hudson's FTM Resource Guide : In order to monitor your health while taking testosterone, your doctor will perform a variety of tests in the laboratory-- mostly blood tests. During the first year of testosterone therapy, your doctor should perform blood tests every three or four months . This will be especially helpful in determining an appropriate T dose, as the data found in the blood tests can be used to adjust your dosage amount and/or timing if necessary. If no major problems arise in your blood work during the first year of treatment, blood tests can be taken every six month...

First it's manscaping. And now it's my first shave. I went through my usual routine: 1. Apply shaving cream 2. Shave (only going over the same spots twice, max!) 3. Rinse 4. Pat dry 5. Apply soothing shave lotion And, this time, an additional component: 6. Notice blood above lip! I was aghast. I got a little piece of toilet paper and stuck it on the bloody spot. I didn't know what else to do and took a tip from the movies. I thought I had this shaving thing down. I've shaved before hormone therapy, but these new facial hair arrivals are something I haven't encountered before. Kids Health relates to their puberty-ridden audience who are coming across these coarse, foreign whiskers for the first time with: You looked different this morning. While brushing your teeth, you gazed into the mirror and there it was — hair sprouting all over your face. It's definitely cool, but you're not quite sure whether you want to grow that big bushy bear...

On Wednesday Original Plumbing announced that their first issue was available for pre-order. I ordered my copy last night. There's something about this magazine that makes me all warm inside. Living most of my life feeling disconnected from my anatomy and horribly awkward in my own skin really took a toll on my self-esteem. It was hard to not feel "freakish" or unattractive throughout the years, unable to look at myself in the mirror or have a partner see me unclothed. In addition to the dysphoria, there's an entire culture surrounding notions of beauty for men and women. The small amount of exposure I had to trans people growing up was pretty negative (Silence of the Lambs comes to mind). There were no narratives of trans aside from being sources of obscure entertainment or victims of hate crimes. None that I was aware of, anyway. To come to terms with being a trans person right now is wonderful. Thanks to a brave trans history, there is a growing plethora o...

And so begins the process of manscaping. What all started out as fun and games has now become a rampant mess of body hair whose length and thickness seem to know no bounds. My leg hair, for example, grows so long that it literally starts to curl at the tips, even down by my ankles. Some hairs are longer than others. I could go on with more details, but I'll spare you. Long story short, today I cracked and went out to purchase my first ever manscaping tool kit. I had no idea what I was looking for, exactly, but landed myself in an aisle packed full of various "Body & Back Groomer" products, which were somewhat larger and distinct from facial hair grooming kits. After comparing options and prices, I ultimately decided on the Remington Extendable Body & Back Groomer - extendable for those "hard to reach" places like the butt or upper back. Lovely. I haven't tried it out yet. I'm sure that I'll probably make an embarrassing patchy mess of ...

Last Thursday was my mom's birthday. We celebrated by getting her ears re-pierced, visiting a local vegan hot dog cart, and partaking in outdoor adventures with the family pup, Ganymede. So much fun! By dinner time, my uncle (mom's brother) joined us, who I haven't seen since I started hormone therapy. And I suspect that no one has mentioned it to him. He asked what was wrong with my voice and commented that it sounds different. He stared at me for prolonged, semi-awkward periods of time. Throughout dinner, my immediate family repeatedly referred to me with masculine pronouns. He didn't ask any questions, but I'm assuming that he'll learn about it eventually. Repo! The Genetic Opera & Gendered Admission Lines I went to see a movie called Repo! The Genetic Opera with a friend of mine a few nights ago. By the time we arrived there was a long waiting line, spilling out on to the sidewalk. After waiting for a little over an hour, an employee came out an...