Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints.

Yesterday I was on a public mens restroom ROLL. It's interesting to me that, despite the anxiety I've experienced in regards to the prospect of using mens restrooms (in regards to mostly being concerned about a potentially violent or embarrassing encounter if I don't "pass"), it's been much more comfortable than using public womens restrooms has ever been. I'd just adjusted. It felt normal to constantly anticipate that there would be a scene, that someone may gasp or scream, that security might be called; that someone would walk in, walk out to double-check the sign, and walk in again and tell me I'm in the wrong bathroom. On and on. The fact that going into male-only spaces that are potentially physically dangerous is LESS anxiety-inducing than using womens restrooms has been is just, astounding to me. And this is throughout my teenage and adult life, even prior to coming out as a trans person. Frequently I felt the urge to do something to fem...

I look forward to Super Sunday for two reasons: PETA's always-banned-yet-entirely-awesome Super Bowl commercials and Animal Planet's PUPPY BOWL !! Last year some friends and I actually had a Puppy Bowl party with fattening buckets of food, back slapping, and even this football snack bowl to boot: When the Puppy Bowl enthusiast is ready to snack, (s/z)he pushes the button, the top of the football opens up to a plethora of snacks and the Super Bowl theme plays. The best. This year marked Animal Planet's PUPPY BOWL V . These are a few of the puppies who competed in the starting line-up this year: 12 week old pitbull mix named Bella ! My personal favorite who I was rooting for. I should have painted her name on my chest. Or his. Bella doesn't care. Charlie Brown ! Just look at him! Definitely a force to be reckoned with. I actually don't know what in the hell this is, but somehow it found its way into the Puppy Bowl alongside puppies. Probably landed t...

Gadz. Yesterday was exhausting. It's a highly dramatic analogy, but it felt like we were all skipping aboot on a field of green grass and daises (doesn't everyone feel that way about work?) and then, next thing everyone knew, we're lined up against a wall and higher management takes aim. Bullets are whizzing by, it's a whirlwind, friends are getting hit and collapsing. Tears galore. On one hand it's sad to see them hit and then, on the other, everyone who's still standing is wondering who's going to get shot next. It's like I dodged a bullet and, once the bullets stopped whizzing by, I kind of stumbled off of the bloody field through a haze of smoke shell shocked thinking, " what just happened? " Moral of the highly dramatic not even entirely relevant analogy: I was really tired last night. I usually volunteer until 9pm but left early to go home to get some rest. I actually ended up popping pimples and staying up late watching Prison Break w...

Co-workers are being fired left and right. The economic depression is really hitting us and it became real today when I went to the break room to make a sandwich and my co-worker was in tears. She had just been fired. No warning. She just came in and, next thing she knows, she doesn't have a job. An entire web of people were fired today. Some on my team, people I've been working with every day for the past few years. There's obvious tension in the air. I see the look of concern on everyone's faces. Most conversations are permeated with fear and tension, having no idea what to expect tomorrow or the day after. I feel a lot of sympathy for everyone who walked in today to discover they don't have a job and a lot of anxiety for the rest of us who are still here. For my own situation I'd gone most of my life not feeling too much anxiety over the prospect of ever losing a job. Then again, I've never been a working adult during an economic depression, ...

My chest exam went well this morning. Due to my concern that I'd potentially found a lump when I uncomfortably self-examined last week, I made an appointment with the closest place I could that would get me in the fastest - the primary objective being: get exam ASAP! I would've felt more comfortable waiting to see my for-sure trans-aware/friendly doctor, but the urgency compelled me to shoot in the dark and make an appointment with any doctor I could. I knew nothing about my doctor - gender, history, how this person would react to my being trans or the impact that would have on my exam. All I knew was that the hospital had rearranged some appointments to get me in faster and that this doctor had an opening. I intentionally decided not to bind even though it was uncomfortable, especially now that I've experienced the sheer irresistible relief of it. However, I did wear a hoodie with a tight wind breaker that compresses to some extent and that helped. It also gave me less t...

Last week I met a friend for lunch who mentioned that her sister went through a "natural transition" due to something called polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), which I'd never heard of before. Apparently it's an endocrine disorder that can naturally occur in some biological women. According to Wikipedia, common symptoms of PCOS include: * Oligomenorrhea, amenorrhea — irregular, few, or absent menstrual periods. * Infertility, generally resulting from chronic anovulation (lack of ovulation). * Hirsutism — excessive and increased body hair, typically in a male pattern affecting face, chest and legs. * Hair loss appearing as thinning hair on the top of the head * Acne, oily skin, seborrhea. * Obesity: one in two women with PCOS are obese. * Depression. * Deepening of voice Uh, sound familiar? I was completely fascinated to hear about this, especially in regards to its relation to the gender binary and the stereotypes associated with biological males and female...

Earlier today I attended a very rainy rally in support of the Common Ground Initiative (which are a series of 6 bills - more info here !) that stem from statements the LDS Church made during and after California’s Proposition 8 campaign like " we’re not anti-gay " and " the Church does not object to rights for same-sex couples. " Oh, and also, Elder L. Whitney Clayton even explicitly stated the LDS Church does not oppose " civil unions or domestic partnerships. " Meaning, marriage is not the issue in this case, basic civil rights are; like housing & workplace protection (in Utah it's legal to fire someone if they're even perceived as being LGBT), death benefits, expanded health care for partners, etc., which everyone - including members of the LDS Church - can entirely agree with. In fact, something really inspirational is that three statewide polls have been released in the past week, including one by the SL Tribune and Equality Utah showi...