Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints.

Back in the day I wrote about how, when I was hired to work on campus, a tool they use called  E-Verify flagged my social security number due to my name/gender not matching . I'd had it all legally changed in all other ways (birth certificate, I.D., etc.) but not federally yet (I can't legally change it, rendering my local gender 'male' and my federal gender 'female'). This didn't just end up impacting my campus job, but also my financial aid. I received a notice from my school that I had to go through a re-verification process, giving them my new social security card, filling out paperwork again, tracking down my 2009 W-2 and giving it to them again, and so on. In addition to this whole fiasco, when I initially received my financial aid package at the beginning of this semester I worked out a 10-month payment plan with Student Account Services for the remainder that loans and scholarships didn't cover. Yet, due to this whole E-Verify flagged mismatch...

I had a pap smear on October 22nd, which I refer to as a "paptastic appointment of sedative-laden doom". The  first one I had was in January of 2009. I procrastinated the inevitable as long as I could muster, but the worry of not knowing what's up with my innards caught up with me and overrode the aversion. So I cracked, and decided 'fine, I'm uninsured, but I need to get my hormone levels checked and I need a pap smear. So just, go in, do it, and figure out the cost part of it later. My hormone levels are higher than they should be, so my doctor reduced my bi-weekly dose from 0.7 mL to 0.5 mL. Then in pap-ville, my doctor slotted our appointment as her first of the day. Learning from the last time I had this done, she injected me with a massive amount of pregnant lady sedative first thing (I scribbled the name of it down after my appointment, but have no idea where these scribbles are).

This week... I woke up Saturday clearly infected and all sickly goopy phlegm-city gross. By Sunday, my throat was sore and my head felt like it was going to 'plode from all of the congested pressure. Yet, due to my friend acquiring tickets literally months in advance for a demolition derby, I abstained from sleep. I slugged it to the demolition derby where I enjoyed watching all the cars smash and mash (and, most of all, the people watching) via a blurred out stuffy congestion sick-ville sleepy filter. Despite the sick factor, it was a lot of fun. I can't quite pinpoint why, but demolition derbies are the only things I actually want to get tickets for and go watch. No sports, no plays, no symphonies, no concerts really - but demolition derbies? Sign me up! While there, Erin (who really visibly gender non-conforming) asked if I wouldn't mind going to the men's restroom with him (he always uses women's restrooms, but felt too uncomfortable to do so at the der...

I was fortunate enough to land a student job at my school, but have experienced a technical difficulty with the paperwork after my soon-to-be employers called  The Social Security Administration (SSA). On my first day I was told to visit the campus Human Resources (HR) department to fill out paperwork in order to be officially employed. I did so and the next day I received an e-mail requesting that I return to the HR office to discuss some things. Hrm. I was informed that part of the employee verification process is done through a system called  E-Verify, which apparently involves my social security number. The results said that my number is real, but that the information provided it isn't matching up. The HR employee was clearly baffled and admitted that this was the first time they'd had E-Verify reject a social security number. I told her that I had my name legally changed recently and maybe it wasn't updated yet in the social security database. She provided ...

There are so many ways to celebrate the awesomeness of my dazzling and entirely legal first name. For example, look what brand of shoes Payless sells and that I now own a pair of: YES. And there are others, too - with Dexter sprawled on the sides or back, ranging from $10-$20. Oh, and look at this pen that I found: Yes, that IS a "D". And yes, those are jewels on it. Jealous much? Kitty Time Since I mentioned my rabble rouser kitty cat Theseus in my last post, I thought I'd post these fairly recent images of her in crazy town.  Throughout my years of co-habitating with my feline companions, whenever I buy some special cat toy or bed, it goes unused. They generally opt to play with little milk rings or sleep in shoe boxes or something that doesn't cost me anything. With Theseus, she actually uses every single cat trinket I've purchased - for example, a slumber ball (cat version of a bean bag), her cozy heated cabin, little cat crinkle...

Today was my second day of classes, which all went well. I bicycled in the morning with my dad, which is a surprisingly fast method of transportation. For some magical reason, everything seems faster in peddle land than automobile-ville. It's a 30 minute bicycle ride that just, flies by. Unfortunately, wearing a binder while wearing a heavy backpack and sweating profusely for 30 minutes is not a good time. But I have developed a solution. Sort of. I put my bicycle outfit together last night, which consists of my loose jersey , my T-Kingdom 801 zip-up binder , and some light Underworks shorts. Then I made sure to start bicycling early enough this morning that it's nice and cool out and we have time to stop by a cafe before class. Here, I can use the cafe's single stall restroom to change out of my wet, uncomfortable binder and into a dry binder, shirt, and shorts. With all of that binder-swap prepping under my belt, my first class was Art History. Right when I walked i...

These past few days I have been moving.moving.moving - in with my parents. After 10 years of living on my own, moving in wasn't an easy decision to make... but, it's the one that will help me to succeed. I really want to take advantage of this opportunity to attend a private, liberal arts college. Which is a huge privilege. Even though my parents don't have a lot of room to spare, not having to pay rent while in school is an AMAZING opportunity and extremely kind of them. Not worrying about making rent will definitely help me to maintain the GPA that I need to hold on to my scholarships and to take full advantage of everything the McNair program offers. Admittedly, starting this whole process is really anxiety-inducing. I'm worried that I'm walking in to a world where I'll just end up being weeded out and burdened with a lot of debt. I am very tempted to bypass this opportunity and look for a full-time job, but I have to try. This is a really exciting one-time...

I attended a transfer student orientation yesterday and had no idea what to expect. Registration for the orientation took place in a banquet hall where staff handed out packets and name tags. I was nervous about what name would be on the name tag - Dexter or my previous name. The last I had spoke with the college was earlier in July after I had just barely had my name legally changed. When I walked up to the registration table and told them my last name, I also disclaimed that it should be Dexter, but could be Mel. And there it was - my name tag saying  Dexter.  Boo-ya! On a side note, I discovered recently that there's a band called The Dexter Thomas Band , formed in 1995. Totally beat me to the punch. Anyway, I sat at a table with a few other students. We introduced ourselves and small talk ensued. I primarily interacted with a couple of girls at the table, one of whom had also transferred from the local community college and is a McNair Scholar. Eventually a guy acr...

I hit a vein yesterday during my bi-weekly injection for the first time since starting hormone therapy in '08. Everything was going to honky dory until I removed the needle - and immediately a faucet of blood turned on and welled up from the injection site. Surprised, I immediately dabbed it with an alcohol wipe, which was instantly soaked. The blood flowed down my thigh and dripped on to the floor. Once I had all of the blood soaked up, I noticed what appeared to be a partially swollen vein. Not knowing what else to do, I covered it with a bandage. Ahhhh ha, so this is what it's like to hit a vein , I thought. I would have been more anxious about this situation, but I remember bringing this concern up with my doctor before injecting for the first time. She reassured me that I don't need to fret if it happens; that I wouldn't die and nothing horrible should happen. My leg didn't hurt and I took the bandage off last night to discover that the vein was no longer...

Look what I got today: A new card from my bank reflecting my name change! I got to flash it earlier for a delicious refreshing iced beverage. Posed by my equally enthusiastic kitties, Theseus "Kitten" Arkadash Thomas (calico, 4 years old) and Evilbunny Thomas (Wearing the tuxedo. 16 years old! I've had him since I was a wee 12 years of age): No more debit card utilizing problems for me!

Today I got an amended birth certificate and a new state I.D.! It all began when my friend, Jude, let me borrow hiz car to run errands. In exchange, I let hir borrow my laptop so ze could work from a coffee shop instead of going-in-to-the-office-work for the day. Done, deal, next. I then asked my roommate, Steph, and my brother, to meet me at the downtown vegan hot dog stand. This part of my tale is very essential because it fueled us for the errands ahead. As I scarfed down my italian sausage with chips and beverage, I asked Steph if she would also like to accompany me to the Utah Office of Vital Records and Statistics to acquire me an amended birth certificate. I don't know why poor Steph agreed to come. It could have been the good mood she was in eating a vegan hot dog, or just that it was sunny out - for whatever reason, she accepted my unsavory errand-accompanying-to-NOT-FUN-places offer. And onwards we went, to the land of Vital Records. The wait wasn't long. I fi...

Last Wednesday, June 23rd, I heard back from my therapist that he had faxed two letters to the Judge appointed to my case. One saying that yes, I'm trans and yes, I should have my gender legally changed. The other being a copy of the original letter that he wrote for my doctor in support of starting hormone therapy. My friend, Andrew, joined me at the court house with the following mission: hunt down the clerk assigned to my case to find out about my gender change. The hunt was simple. Her presumed locale was easy to find but - she wasn't in. Instead, there was a note at the front counter that directed my attention to a phone on the wall next to a list of clerks and extensions to reach them. So I dialed her extension and she answered. I gave her my info and she replied, "Oh, yes. Everything has been granted.", wha? Seriously? Even the fee waiver!? To clarify I asked, " Everything ? The name change, the gender change, and the fee waiver ?", "Yes....

I called the court clerk last Tuesday to inquire if the judge had made his decision(s) yet in regards to my gender change or the fee waiver. She informed me that nothing in my case file indicated he had made decisions yet, and she promised to hunt him down when court wasn't in session and get back to me. And she did. He wants a letter from my therapist confirming that I am, in fact, trans. I thumbed through my papers looking around desperately for "The Letter" - what's required from a therapist in order to have a doctor prescribe hormones. The last I saw it I was either bringing the original or a copy to my doctor in December of 2009. In the end, I couldn't find that letter for the life of me. I had to ask the therapist who originally wrote it for me for another letter - whether it's a new one or the original - to bring to the judge. I haven't heard back from him yet, so tomorrow I'm going to figure out what the fax number for my judge is, call m...

Just a couple of weeks ago I got all of my nitty gritty paperwork filed at the court house for my official, legally recognized name and gender change. I was assigned a case number and a judge and a date for my hearing - today! After learning which judge was appointed to my case, I looked into his history a bit. I learned that he's LDS, a graduate of Brigham Young University, and had no history of any gender change cases. Admittedly, all of the above made me nervous. But I reassured myself that he is a judge and will hopefully be fair. And everything would work out just fine. I woke up all giddy and nervous about my big court day. My mom called to let me know that she'd be coming with me to provide moral support. Aww!  My dad also called, asking if I'd heard from my mother. I told him that I had, she's on her way to pick me up and that we'd be grabbing coffee before heading to the hearing. He grumbled for a bit, said goodbye, and hung up. That was his way of sa...

My pride well got tapped out this weekend, which resulted in approximately 2 hours of sleep fueling the entire endeavor and sleeping in until 1pm recovering from it yesterday. I also lost my voice a bit from all of the puberty-ridden squealing-while-attempting-to-scream that went on. It never, not once, sounded anything like hooting. More like a cracky, screeching ... I don't know what. Essentially, when it comes to Pride Weekend , I do everything I can to drag it out as long as possible. It's like this magical little micro-world where everyone celebrates the freedom to just, well - be . Hetero, homo, bi, pan, genderqueer, male, female, cis, trans, whatever - everyone is just there expressing themselves however they want in an environment that's safe, accepting, and celebratory of diversity. Something I wish I saw in my macro-world more often. My Pride started Thursday night with Salt Lake's first ever Miss City Weekly Drag Pageant : All of the performers ...