Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints.

I feel like I'm living in a warped Back to the Future bubble reminiscent of Marty McFly and Doc Brown. Here I am living in a social reality where I'm generally read/treated as a young cisgender male in his early 20s. I'm taking Drivers Ed and getting my drivers license for the first.time.ever . I'm resuming college alongside people who are actually in their late teens, after originally dropping out of high school and then experiencing a four-year frozen academic record hiatus. I'm experiencing a slew of puberty-ridden foreign shenanigans that have me surprising myself and learning new things on a daily basis. And the hormone acne onslaught is a constant aesthetically pleasant reminder. I even have the less-plushy blue version of Marty McFly's ridiculous life vest. And aviators. And a semi-fluffy 80s-esque hair-do. And incredibly plush, cozy sneakers. BUT! I bicycle! I do not skate board! So, at least I have that going for me. It's an inte...

I noticed a peculiar and grody social shift in myself last weekend. One that's peculiar, unprecedented, and causes me to shudder - just a wee bit. A little back story : The me I knew prior to December 11th ( the day I had my first injection ) would, in general, attempt to woo hapless damsels by listening, asking a slew of questions, learning bits n' pieces, and ultimately fusing an emotional bond. It wasn't an intentionally devised, conscious effort - it just happened that way. Then I'd witness males interacting with individuals they were attracted to - noticeable because of how blatant it would generally be. The intense space invasion, leering eye contact, leaning in, arm/leg touching... etc., etc. When it would happen to women who weren't seemingly reciprocating I'd think to myself, " What a creep, invading her space like that! Just lean back a little! " Now? Unfortunately, and I hate to admit it, but I'm partially understanding the creep ...

I'm completely wrecked from Pride Weekend. It got to the point last night where it felt like every.single.capillary in my eyeballs were on the verge of bursting. The fact that I feel this wrecked without a drop of alcohol in my system has me feeling a great deal of sympathy for those who do. Seriously, how do their bodies handle it?! All of mine is from a few days of sleep deprivation, where I was determined to milk Pride Weekend for every little drop it had to offer. " Oh, fueled on just a few hours of sleep, a cup of coffee and one soda pop, you say there's stuff going on at this or that club tonight? And I need to be down to the Pride Parade tomorrow morning by 9am? Okay! Great plan! Wee pride! ?" By Sunday morning it was clear that most everyone else had been operating via similar logic. The bloodshot eyes and zombie-like shuffling along made it clear. Pride...must... keep....going... Some of us, cracked out on adrenalin, were able to GO GO GO amongst the sh...

Oh this is so cool . I have a little blog tracker that revealed to me this morning that someone found my little speck on the web by typing " stand to pee fat trans guy " into Google. With those key words, my blog is THE FIRST ONE to show up in the results. HA! It's a pretty accurate description these days, actually. Moving on. That whole wolf in a really cheap sheep costume analogy came kicking up again the other night when I was out causing mayhem with those two female friends of mine. Ugh. I'm also finding that it's hard not to blog about this constantly. Perhaps I should start up another blog that's sole purpose is dedicated to ranting and raving about the libidinous side effects of testosterone that weren't at all anticipated like this and most unfortunately are not placebo. So, back to a lame, classic, and not-at-all-accurate analogy I've used before - it feels like my adorably fluffy sheep friends will come along in their flock and say...

News came out in The Advocate today that Utah is the USA's Online Porn Capital ! What a surprise!! Utah not only led the charge with donations to pass California's gay marriage ban -- the state also leads the pack with the highest level of online pornography usage. In fact, traditionally "red" states fill out the top three spots. Alaska is close behind, followed by Mississippi. Read more  > Over lunch today I had a conversation with a couple of my friends about our history and current state of, well, dating. See, a lot has been happening for me in terms of the libidinous effects of testosterone that essentially have me acting like a fumbly, idiotic, awkward mess around individuals who I'm attracted to, which I blog whined in great graphic depth about a bit ago . One of my friends actually referred to me as a " walking boner ". It's sad how true that statement might be. The closest I've ever felt to this was, not surprisingly, high scho...

Last week I met a friend for lunch who mentioned that her sister went through a "natural transition" due to something called polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), which I'd never heard of before. Apparently it's an endocrine disorder that can naturally occur in some biological women. According to Wikipedia, common symptoms of PCOS include: * Oligomenorrhea, amenorrhea — irregular, few, or absent menstrual periods. * Infertility, generally resulting from chronic anovulation (lack of ovulation). * Hirsutism — excessive and increased body hair, typically in a male pattern affecting face, chest and legs. * Hair loss appearing as thinning hair on the top of the head * Acne, oily skin, seborrhea. * Obesity: one in two women with PCOS are obese. * Depression. * Deepening of voice Uh, sound familiar? I was completely fascinated to hear about this, especially in regards to its relation to the gender binary and the stereotypes associated with biological males and female...

Oh boy! So either I'm getting a cold OR my voice has started to crack. I'm err'ing on the latter, seeing as I have no other cold symptoms. Maybe I'm finally growing up and becoming a big boy! WikiHow has an article called How to Prevent Your Voice from Cracking , which offers the following, very helpful advice: 1. Get past the age of puberty. Everything's so weird and embarrassing, with the extra hair growth and the voice changes. Give it a couple of years, it'll peter out eventually. Your voice will even out too! Thanks, WikiHow! It's a little tragic, but also comforting, that I've entirely adapted to being a greasy, acne-ridden, bad smelling individual. Now it feels normal to squirt oodles of white pimple goo all over the bathroom mirror every night and I no longer notice my smell. Life is good. Enough about white pimps n' grease, I emailed a photo of my chest to my preferred surgeon for chest reconstruction surgery and got feedback ...

Today feels like the first day my body realized a fierce and mighty war is afoot. For years my mind has been sitting in the corner mumbling and grumbling while my body is out in the spot light, living it up. But now, the playing field has changed. Estrogen is charging, testosterone is gaining in strength. Little do they know that, right at the cusp, right when they meet in the middle and think that one is going to slaughter the other, I'm going to descend from the sky wearing a bright yellow cape over a glistening leotard tightly cinching a mighty cod piece, holding a sparkling wand and dawning a full, thick beard - and then, I shall mediate. I will tell them to stop quivering with rage, to shake hands, hug, and to agree to disagree. In just this small amount of time I've noticed a gradual, but swift, change in my body fat. On a very exciting note, I noticed something while my mind oogled the change in body fat, even facially. I have THREE NEW WHISKERS! I have one new one on ...