Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints.

Guess who got to see Yara Sofia over pride weekend? THIS GUY. For those who live in the tragic drag-less dark, Yara Sofia won the Miss Congeniality award on season three of RuPaul’s Drag Race . She was, by far, my favorite - due to being all super sweet, mega-talented, and overall adorable. Anyway, I blame school - but, I had no idea that she was coming to Salt Lake City until Saturday night. Prior to this knowledge, I had resolved to learn from experience and save up my finite supply of elder energy for the Sunday morning Pride Parade and all.day.long festivities. In years past, pride weekend has always been a blur of gaggle o’ faggle sleep deprivation that I end up paying for all day Monday. That was the plan - until Aaron texted me: “Yara Sofia will be at Metro tonight.” Well, he actually texted “Sofia Yara” - but, close enough. I got the gist. One part of me thought of the exhaustion, the overwhelming crowds of loud, drunken hot messes. But, the other part of me thought,...

Got this new hair did last weekend from Princess Kennedy. So summer post-finals perfect:

The fact that finals are looming has turned me into a space cadet. Literally. Yesterday morning I go to coffee with my pops per usual. Since I have a class that starts at 10am and knew we had a discussion planned, I made sure to get caught up on the class reading. Like the creeper that I am, I got to class 15 minutes early, set up shop, got cozy, and started to work on a paper for another class. It struck me as odd that by 9:55am I was the only student in the room. By 10am, same story. I gave it until 10:20 and still, no professor. No other students. Had I missed a memo? Had class been canceled? I was positive we had this reading and discussion planned. I checked my voicemail, the online class calendar, e-mail, everything. Maybe I’d spaced off during class when the professor clearly announced that class was canceled? I thought I’d been paying attention… but, confused, I packed up and wandered off. Since this was my only class of the day, I headed home. Made lunch. Then, around 1...

… from my friend, Julian (who had top surgery last year) and his awesome partner, Rose (who was there for him). The two of them took the time last night to put these 24 tips together for me - and so I’m sharing them with you guys, too! Cuuuute : Move all items to lower level where you can extend your arm straight and reach Use straws to drink Have 2 week supply of “comfort food” Get shoes you can put on without hands - you wont be able to reach down and tie anything Be ok with being stinky for about 2-3 weeks - wont be able to shower Get a friend to give you a sponge bath Have 2 weeks worth of entertainment i.e movies, music… LOTS of PILLOWS. You will not be able to lie down flat; use pillows for support Don’t attempt to reach anything - you can hurt self and damage scar tissue Need a few shirts that close in the front, like button up comfortable shirts Pants that are easy to put on & off Apply mederma when the tape comes off 3 times a day Don’t peal off anything If ...

I tried to make a little webcam vlog shindig via my blatantly super enthusiastic voice — but, alas, something went amiss and the audio isn’t being captured. wonk wonk. Which means — I’ll blog it! … for now . I want to make a giddy vlog about this, too, damnit. In the meantime… I just made my final payment for surgery. It is now paid for and the way swell “receptionist” ( This is entirely surreal. To actually have it paid for and to know, for sure, this is happening. I can’t thank everyone enough who has donated, helped with my fund-raiser, and supported me throughout all of this. If I could cry (I haven’t once since transitioning - wtf!), I would. ;)

This site is “dedicated to raising funds for surgeries necessary for Carter’s transition” - an FTM graduate student lacking mula and the support of his parents. His friends created this site to help him and have included a donate button, bracelets for sell, and even better - they’ve designed a series of mega-epic t-shirts (with more designs to come). The highlights: The cute factor of this slays me. How wily! This is, by far, one of the most adorably impressive trans fund-raisers I’ve ever stumbled across. Even though I’m hoarding all of my pennies for my very own surgery in 28 days !!!!!!, I had to contribute. I’ll try to abstain from such things until after my own freakin’ surgery. Irresistible, though. SUPPORT!

My apologies in advance for the pretty much inevitable fact that 99.2% of my blogging from now on up until August 11th is going to be related to my upcoming top surgery. You have been forewarned. I’ve been waiting for this for so.long. For some time there, it felt unattainable. Every time I’d get close, something would come along to thwart my progress. But this time around and with all of the support I’ve received from my friends and loved ones to make this happen? No thwarting! It’s happening ! Fo’ real real and not fo’ in my head play play! So, throughout this whole enthused about surgery shindig, I haven’t ever really disclosed the details of the specific procedure I’m bound for - the “ double incision mastectomy ”. With this method, incisions are made horizontally across each breast below the nipple: The skin is then peeled back so that the mammary glands and fatty tissue can be removed with a scalpel. scrape scrape scrape . Once the breast tissue has been scooped out, the...

Impulse buy for my mother from my excursion to Farmers Market yesterday: This was my first chance to go to the Farmers Market this summer and it was a lot of fun. And I just couldn’t resist splurging on this little guy who had mother written all over him. He is now known as Sammy. Yesterday I got to peruse the market with my friend, Rachael, who beelined to every jewelry shack on the block - which was, literally, probably every 2nd or 3rd vendor cart. In years past I’d had absolutely no idea there were so many jewelry vendors. I was aghast. The closest I’d ever get to noticing jewelry otherwise is if someone had stuck Sammy (above) on a necklace. Which, by the way, would be an incredible necklace. Ooo, tonight, Athens Boys Choir (i.e. trans dude named Katz) is touring through Salt Lake City again! I’m excited and shall blog about it after. In other news, guess who has surgery next month, AUGUST 11TH ??? I’m so excited it pains me.

Last week my friend, Andrew, told me about a documentary called Beautiful Darling , which is about the life of a transgender woman named Candy Darling. It is currently playing at The Tower (a wonderful, local independent theatre). I’d learned my lesson about dismissing Andrew’s pop culture entertainment suggestions earlier on when he lent me Barbarella starring Jane Fonda. I let that 1968 gem sit there on my shelf for months gathering dust bunnies until, finally, 90% motivated to put a stop to his relentless, “Have you watched it yet???” harassment, I crumbled and put it in to my DVD player. After watching Jane Fonda run around scantily clad hunting Doctor Durand Durand I was hooked - especially after the scene where she explained to that hairy Catchman that Earth peoples no longer have old-fashioned penetrative intercourse, but instead swallow Exaultation Transference Pills and press palms together when their “psychocardiograms are in perfect harmony”. Bang! Top 10! S...

Buds n’ I at my tranimal benefit party last Thursday, courtesy ThatGuyGil !

… and I celebrated by going to birthday breakfast! I initially planned on going to the Utah Renaissance Festival and Fantasy Faire , but then grew increasingly anxious about an important paper that’s due tomorrow. So - I postponed it for a day that will work way better! I’ve received the greatest presents ever. This bag from Jude: This envelope, sealed with a kiss: This creepy doll from Shenan that I now call “Dexter’s love monkey” who opens his mouth into a perfect little O and sings when squeezed. It’s a perfect fit. Plus, my pup, Gany, really, reeeeeally wants to gut the voice box out of this little guy: A gift card to Nordstrom Rack for a new pair of shorts from Jude, who can’t stand the basketball shorts I romp around in daily and has been complaining about them since last summer. But the most important gift of all? The adorable company of and lovins from my friends and family last Thursday and this morning, of course! Oh, and the best gift? My dad’s post on ...

Photos from my DANCE YOURSELF TO DEATH! TRANIMAL PARTY (May 12th 2011) top surgery benefit! See more, courtesy of Viola Photography :

Last night’s benefit for my top surgery was such a SUCCESS. Not just as a fundraiser, but as a super schnazzy fun dancy good time, too! There was a great turn-out right from the 8:30pm get-go of a whole slew of adorable peeps. I yapped so much throughout the night that, now, my voice is a barely audible raspy mess. Meanwhile, while I spent time socializing, friends set up a really alluring display of raffle prizes and then rotated throughout the night at a table outside to ask for donations and to sell the tickets AND inside walking from person to person. Even some of my more reserved friends stood up to uncomfortably pander for raffle sales. Dia Diabolique from Slippery Kittens Burlesque came to perform on her only day off, which was so insanely sweet of her. Especially as a single mother. I am beyond flattered and appreciative. Afterwards, Jesse, the President of TransAction Utah , performed “Tranny Got Pack” from Athens Boys Choir in a little boy scout outfit with his “dan...

I actually have a 5 o’ clock shadow. I’m not quite sure when it appeared as, out of sheer laziness in the personal hygiene department throughout last semester, I didn’t shave much. But in a spontaneous fit of I’m-shaggy-and-can’t-take-it-anymore!!! hysteria I ran to the barber and forked over $15 to get all hair cut dappered out. At some point the barber inquired, “Are you growing a beard?”, to which I replied, “Not intentionally. I just haven’t shaved.” Taking that as a green flag to buzz my face, next thing I knew my facial hair was gone - and stubble remained. 5 o’ clock shadow stubble ! I can’t stop admiring it. In other news, this “Sex in the Brain” class I’m in is extremely interesting. Especially the part (so far) where we’ve learned about testosterone receptors in the amygdala, the part of the brain related to things like aggression and fear. Anyway, since I’d helped the same professor for this class put together a transgender panel for another class last semester, she asked ...