A few months ago I finally decided that I should see a counselor. For as long as I can remember I've been entirely physiologically disconnected from how my body started to develop throughout my teens. It's a silly and super simplified analogy, but it's like I hit puberty and suddenly a third arm started to grow from my torso and two extra eye balls grew into my head - meanwhile, my brain is mapped for two arms and two eyeballs. No matter what I do mentally to adjust to that third arm or those two extra eyeballs, my brain just won't get over feeling like it's all foreign and agonizing and doesn't belong. So, back to reality and away from my silly and simplified sci-fi analogy - with my body, it's been that way for as long as I can remember. Consciously and socially, my body is awesome. But, on some subconscious level, it has always felt very foreign. Over time, this has been taking a huge toll on my self-esteem, on my ability to have intimate relationships,...
I promise it's not that hard, but at the same time, there is nothing wrong with being prepared.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I think it's amazing how supportive the people in your life have been so far.
It's very amazing. I feel really lucky. I wish being supportive and tolerant was the norm, however, and... well, one day, it will be. In regards to shaving, I just have three little hairs at the moment, so it's most definitely not hard. ;]
ReplyDeleteHaha. I actually shaved no different than how I shaved my legs.
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