New Years Eve.
I remember the first time I went out to a New Years Eve party and being completely caught off-guard when midnight rolled around and suddenly corks were flying, alcohol was spraying, and drunk lips were being hurdled towards my face. Last year I had a plan. When 11:58 rolled along, I conveniently inched away towards the bathroom, shut myself inside, and when I came out my poor friends were covered in alcohol. Not me!
This year, however, I was at a club... and not as successful. As it turns out, in clubs, it doesn't seem to matter if it's midnight or not. People are intoxicated and want to place their mouths on others. I got drunken kissed-on-the-hand, drunken cheek-kissed multiple times, drunken mouth kissed twice, and sober midnight kissed once. One kiss entailed someone actually holding my jaw with a firm grip as I turned my face the opposite direction, forcing it... forcing it... and then my ear plug popped out and shattered the moment it hit the ground. I told her, "No worries! I have more jewelry at home!" and scampered off.
And now, New Years morning, I feel like I have a cold due to being in that smoke-filled bar all night. Phlegm city, my stomach is stirring. I'm all raspy and keep snorting and coughing. I feel wrecked and grody. I suspect that people may have been smoking more than usual due to this smoking in clubs ban that's being enacted today in Utah.
And now, the soap box urge has hit. I will keep it brief!
### steps upon soap box ###
I love how it's finally, legally recognized that maybe there's something wrong about an individual having the right to force another individual to ingest a toxic substance (secondhand smoke contains a slew of awful chemicals that are known to be toxic or carcinogenic, like formaldehyde, benzene, vinyl chloride, arsenic ammonia and hydrogen cyanide). For me, it's one thing for an individual to make the consensual choice to put something into their own body - but the second that translates into forcing it on to someone else, it becomes an issue for me. I almost felt like bringing in a can of some kind of poisonous, stinky, toxic substance, and, while I'm dancing or socializing, just push a button on it and have it spray out around me. If anyone complained about my doing this, I could just argue that I'm addicted to pushing this button and it's a habit and, most importantly, if they have an issue with it, they should just go somewhere else.
It also upset me as a worker rights issue. I can't even imagine how much damage it does to someone working in a bar, ingesting that much second-hand smoke. Writing that made me curious, so according to the American Lung Association, "Nonsmokers exposed to secondhand smoke at work are at increased risk for adverse health effects. Levels of secondhand smoke in restaurants and bars were found to be 2 to 5 times higher than in residences with smokers and 2 to 6 times higher than in office workplaces" Not to mention that workers in the United States, in general, don't get much say in bargaining where we work and will take jobs in order to make money and pay the rent. Not too long ago workers in the United States were willing to work in factories that didn't have safe equipment, fire exits, any minimum wage, would have employees standing and working for 16 hours straight, etc., etc. (not to say that doesn't happen any more to millions of workers, especially the "illegal" ones, in the United States). Just because someone takes a job doesn't mean it's now okay to exploit them.
In regards to the bars being 'privately owned', that's a dangerous argument. It's one thing to have a privately owned home, but, historically, many employers of publicly-accessible establishments have utilized the 'privately owned' argument to justify a lot of messed up things, like not wanting ethnic minorities or LGBT people to come in, exposing their employees to hazardous, dangerous work conditions, etc. That argument just doesn't hold as an excuse to expose workers to unimaginable quantities of 2nd hand smoke inhalation.
On the plus side, I'm excited that I get to make that rant in past tense. What's a bit obnoxious, though, is that the clubs and bars have had 2 years to prepare for this since the ban was passed - and I see smokers outside freezing to death, when clubs could have easily put out little lamp units and whatnot to keep it warm out. Lame beans.
### steps off off soap box ###
Moving right along.
So I ordered a couple of binders from T-Kingdom last week, this company in Taiwan that makes breast binders specifically for transmen. I finally decided to start binding because there's "light at the end of the tunnel" in regards to surgery. For years, despite the fact that my chest is incredibly uncomfortable and foreign to me, I haven't binded because I've been concerned about causing tissue damage that would effect the outcome of chest reconstruction surgery, which I've wanted for years. (In regards to surgery, by the way, I'm going to be sending a photo of my chest to a potential surgeon in California, who will then give me feedback in regards to type of surgery recommended, price, etc.)
I ordered two - the Model 801 and Model 1980.
I wasn't entirely sure what size to order. They have a size chart to help out folks like me, but the largest it goes to, the XXL, is a height of 5'9'', weight between 176.3 - 187.4lb, and a 40-42 inch chest size. So I come along with a height of 5'11'', 190lbs, and a chest size of 39 inches, and ordered the range beneath this, XL, since the chest size ratio is 37-39inch. The Model 801 XL is perfect, but the Model 1980 feels like it constricts my breathing, so I'm sending it back for the XXL. I'm kind of a dope and should have err'd on getting XXL for both in the first place, especially now that my upper body will presumably be getting even larger.
Also, it wasn't until trying to bind that I've really started noticing that my right breast is larger than my left, so I'm considering getting a binder with velcro that I can adjust differently on both sides.
One thing I like about the M801 is that it has a zipper in the front. It could be visible under a really tight shirt, but it's perfect for me because I can wear it with most shirts and unzip it in environments I'm comfortable in, this way I'm not binding all.day.long and causing excessive tissue damage.
However, the zipper isn't good with some of my button-up shirts, unless I button up higher than I prefer because it will peek out and doesn't pass as an undershirt. For example:
Preferred style. Unable to do with M801.
Forced, not preferred style. Able to do with M801.
The M1980 is either the right size and far more uncomfortable than the M801 since it fits over the entire torso, or it's too tight and I need the XXL. I'm sending it back for the XXL either way. I do like that it seems to bind a bit better than the M801 and also compresses the rest of my torso. It's also MUCH better than the M801 in regards to wearing a white button-up shirt, since it's partially see-through. It just looks like an undershirt, no zipper.
I remember the first time I went out to a New Years Eve party and being completely caught off-guard when midnight rolled around and suddenly corks were flying, alcohol was spraying, and drunk lips were being hurdled towards my face. Last year I had a plan. When 11:58 rolled along, I conveniently inched away towards the bathroom, shut myself inside, and when I came out my poor friends were covered in alcohol. Not me!
This year, however, I was at a club... and not as successful. As it turns out, in clubs, it doesn't seem to matter if it's midnight or not. People are intoxicated and want to place their mouths on others. I got drunken kissed-on-the-hand, drunken cheek-kissed multiple times, drunken mouth kissed twice, and sober midnight kissed once. One kiss entailed someone actually holding my jaw with a firm grip as I turned my face the opposite direction, forcing it... forcing it... and then my ear plug popped out and shattered the moment it hit the ground. I told her, "No worries! I have more jewelry at home!" and scampered off.
And now, New Years morning, I feel like I have a cold due to being in that smoke-filled bar all night. Phlegm city, my stomach is stirring. I'm all raspy and keep snorting and coughing. I feel wrecked and grody. I suspect that people may have been smoking more than usual due to this smoking in clubs ban that's being enacted today in Utah.
And now, the soap box urge has hit. I will keep it brief!
### steps upon soap box ###
I love how it's finally, legally recognized that maybe there's something wrong about an individual having the right to force another individual to ingest a toxic substance (secondhand smoke contains a slew of awful chemicals that are known to be toxic or carcinogenic, like formaldehyde, benzene, vinyl chloride, arsenic ammonia and hydrogen cyanide). For me, it's one thing for an individual to make the consensual choice to put something into their own body - but the second that translates into forcing it on to someone else, it becomes an issue for me. I almost felt like bringing in a can of some kind of poisonous, stinky, toxic substance, and, while I'm dancing or socializing, just push a button on it and have it spray out around me. If anyone complained about my doing this, I could just argue that I'm addicted to pushing this button and it's a habit and, most importantly, if they have an issue with it, they should just go somewhere else.
It also upset me as a worker rights issue. I can't even imagine how much damage it does to someone working in a bar, ingesting that much second-hand smoke. Writing that made me curious, so according to the American Lung Association, "Nonsmokers exposed to secondhand smoke at work are at increased risk for adverse health effects. Levels of secondhand smoke in restaurants and bars were found to be 2 to 5 times higher than in residences with smokers and 2 to 6 times higher than in office workplaces" Not to mention that workers in the United States, in general, don't get much say in bargaining where we work and will take jobs in order to make money and pay the rent. Not too long ago workers in the United States were willing to work in factories that didn't have safe equipment, fire exits, any minimum wage, would have employees standing and working for 16 hours straight, etc., etc. (not to say that doesn't happen any more to millions of workers, especially the "illegal" ones, in the United States). Just because someone takes a job doesn't mean it's now okay to exploit them.
In regards to the bars being 'privately owned', that's a dangerous argument. It's one thing to have a privately owned home, but, historically, many employers of publicly-accessible establishments have utilized the 'privately owned' argument to justify a lot of messed up things, like not wanting ethnic minorities or LGBT people to come in, exposing their employees to hazardous, dangerous work conditions, etc. That argument just doesn't hold as an excuse to expose workers to unimaginable quantities of 2nd hand smoke inhalation.
On the plus side, I'm excited that I get to make that rant in past tense. What's a bit obnoxious, though, is that the clubs and bars have had 2 years to prepare for this since the ban was passed - and I see smokers outside freezing to death, when clubs could have easily put out little lamp units and whatnot to keep it warm out. Lame beans.
### steps off off soap box ###
Moving right along.
So I ordered a couple of binders from T-Kingdom last week, this company in Taiwan that makes breast binders specifically for transmen. I finally decided to start binding because there's "light at the end of the tunnel" in regards to surgery. For years, despite the fact that my chest is incredibly uncomfortable and foreign to me, I haven't binded because I've been concerned about causing tissue damage that would effect the outcome of chest reconstruction surgery, which I've wanted for years. (In regards to surgery, by the way, I'm going to be sending a photo of my chest to a potential surgeon in California, who will then give me feedback in regards to type of surgery recommended, price, etc.)
I ordered two - the Model 801 and Model 1980.
I wasn't entirely sure what size to order. They have a size chart to help out folks like me, but the largest it goes to, the XXL, is a height of 5'9'', weight between 176.3 - 187.4lb, and a 40-42 inch chest size. So I come along with a height of 5'11'', 190lbs, and a chest size of 39 inches, and ordered the range beneath this, XL, since the chest size ratio is 37-39inch. The Model 801 XL is perfect, but the Model 1980 feels like it constricts my breathing, so I'm sending it back for the XXL. I'm kind of a dope and should have err'd on getting XXL for both in the first place, especially now that my upper body will presumably be getting even larger.
Also, it wasn't until trying to bind that I've really started noticing that my right breast is larger than my left, so I'm considering getting a binder with velcro that I can adjust differently on both sides.
One thing I like about the M801 is that it has a zipper in the front. It could be visible under a really tight shirt, but it's perfect for me because I can wear it with most shirts and unzip it in environments I'm comfortable in, this way I'm not binding all.day.long and causing excessive tissue damage.
However, the zipper isn't good with some of my button-up shirts, unless I button up higher than I prefer because it will peek out and doesn't pass as an undershirt. For example:
Preferred style. Unable to do with M801.
Forced, not preferred style. Able to do with M801.
The M1980 is either the right size and far more uncomfortable than the M801 since it fits over the entire torso, or it's too tight and I need the XXL. I'm sending it back for the XXL either way. I do like that it seems to bind a bit better than the M801 and also compresses the rest of my torso. It's also MUCH better than the M801 in regards to wearing a white button-up shirt, since it's partially see-through. It just looks like an undershirt, no zipper.
The T-Kingdom binders with velcro only have the velcro on one side, as far as I am aware, at least it's that way with the one I got. So not sure that it would do good for adjusting each side differently.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CXolXfxeOk
That's my review of the 690. It ended up being too uncomfortable for me, even at the loosest I could make it. I have that problem with regular bras too; guess I'm oversensitive.
We've got a smoking ban in my city too. Since it was enacted, it is so much more pleasant going out to eat and especially the pool hall!
Hello, Mel. My name is Dan. I'm also transitioning. I'm in California.
ReplyDeleteI congratulate you on your success with your new binder.
Darkoshi, thanks for the input! I'll just return the 1980 for the XXL and will get one with Velcro at some point just to see how it is. Is there anything you like more or less about your binder with velcro than one without?
ReplyDeleteYour YouTube review is very convincing, btw - I'll pass on the 690. ;)
Btw, do you have any experience with Underworks binders?
Hey Dan, you dapper feller you! Thanks for sending a hello my way. I'm very excited to finally start binding. I feel a lot more comfortable in my skin when they're not out, jiggling about. I'm excited to take a look at your blog!
ReplyDeleteWow Mel, you're becoming quite the little hit, up to twelve followers!
ReplyDeletei thought you were wearing a binder the other night. if so, it looks good.
ReplyDeletealso, i gave you a sober kiss on the cheek, you jerk.
Aww! You give me sober kisses on the cheek all of the time. Doesn't count!
ReplyDeleteI haven't tried underworks.
ReplyDeleteWith the velcro, the good part is the adjustability. The bad part is that it's scratchy against the skin if you don't have the hooks part completely over the loops part. Since the velcro is only on one side, it also makes the binder a bit non-symmetric depending on how tight or loose you adjust it.
mEL. the sober kiss at midnight....consensual on yer end? if not you'll give me a complex ;)
ReplyDeletei'm glad you have this blog, it allows me to read about your transition without having to call you, cuz, i hate talking to you. you know how we never get along.
Neekrs: This is true, we absolutely do NOT get a long. However, despite our inability to see eye to eye, the kiss was indeed consensual.
ReplyDeleteHello, thank you for posting the pictures to show examples. I'm also transitioning (just starting). Any suggestions for those of us (on a budget) with a bigger chest?
ReplyDeleteThanks!