I'm sick! Still! I've had sickly symptoms for a little over a week now. What the madness!
I have a hard time falling asleep at night, then I'm horribly lethargic all day. I've been feeling a bit apathetic in general and the muscles in my upper back are really tight and sore. And phlegm city is pounding away, hardcore; which I'm sure my co-workers love listening to.
I'm thinking that the symptoms are just residual from the cold I had last week. And the loss of my precious lava lamp. And the fact that my body has its hands full going through a substantial amount of change. I'm really looking forward to my next appointment with my hormone doctor to see where my levels are at and how my gooey inside pieces are handling the T.
Last week I was out and aboot with my parents when my mom and dad started having a discourse about Mel n' the gym. See, for some time now I've been going every other day with my ma. We go into the womens locker room together where there are a few glances, but I act like it ain't no thang, undress, and talk to my mom.
Most of the time I opt to use a stall, especially after I started binding. There's also the fact that I've been going for some time pre-transition, have a pretty set schedule and come across a lot of the same people who see me there frequently enough.
Still, things are a-changin'. Gradually, but it's happening.
My dad advised me to stop using the womens locker room as soon as possible (and to avoid the locker rooms altogether temporarily) so that it won't be such a jarring, noticeable occurrence when and if I start using the mens locker room.
But, there are a few snags.
One being that I don't know if I'll be using the mens locker room any time in the foreseeable future, even if I develop substantial facial hair growth. Reason primarily being that I won't be having chest reconstruction surgery until about 2 years from now if everything goes as planned - and, in the meantime, even though I'll bind at work or out and about, I absolutely refuse to bind at the gym (for health reasons). And I shouldn't have to simply to 'pass' for my own safety or to be able to use a frickin' locker room like anyone else. Personally, however, it would be super swell not to have foreign mammal fat blubbering about while I'm trying to work out. That won't last for much longer, though. Patience, patience...
Still, the reality exists that I can anticipate a problem or two, and I do have to think about my safety amongst confused and potentially fearful peers. I'm thinking that there are a few options available to me, but I'm not entirely sure what to do or when to do it.
I could opt to just get into my workout gear after work THEN go to the gym and work out all hairy and breast-ridden, avoiding the locker room altogether. I mean, jebus, there are cisgender dudes there already with larger chests than mine and no one gives them smack.
Or I could perhaps try other, safer methods to 'bind' to some extent so that I can use the mens locker room without incident, like possibly wear a sports bra and two Under Armour shirts under a t-shirt or something along those layering frenzy lines. Hmm.
Or maybe I could just jog in the morning and work out from home for a while. I'm doubting I'll do this, though, because I don't want to NOT be able to use the gym simply because I'm obviously gender variant and confuse people who are only aware of binary gender and not quite sure where to place an individual with mutton chops and breasts, sweating away on a treadmill and lifting weights.
In the meantime, I believe that I'll continue using the womens locker room, removing my binder in the stall, putting on a sports bra, and working out until any issues arise. I'd use the mens, but I do feel more comfortable in the womens given my non-binding situation and history there.
I can't wait for top surgery.
On an incredibly uplifting and entirely unrelated note, yesterday I read a bizarre article on FOX News about this guy in New York who was hit by a car, then anchored on to a passing van who dragged his body for almost 20 miles until the driver noticed.
I have a hard time falling asleep at night, then I'm horribly lethargic all day. I've been feeling a bit apathetic in general and the muscles in my upper back are really tight and sore. And phlegm city is pounding away, hardcore; which I'm sure my co-workers love listening to.
I'm thinking that the symptoms are just residual from the cold I had last week. And the loss of my precious lava lamp. And the fact that my body has its hands full going through a substantial amount of change. I'm really looking forward to my next appointment with my hormone doctor to see where my levels are at and how my gooey inside pieces are handling the T.
Last week I was out and aboot with my parents when my mom and dad started having a discourse about Mel n' the gym. See, for some time now I've been going every other day with my ma. We go into the womens locker room together where there are a few glances, but I act like it ain't no thang, undress, and talk to my mom.
Most of the time I opt to use a stall, especially after I started binding. There's also the fact that I've been going for some time pre-transition, have a pretty set schedule and come across a lot of the same people who see me there frequently enough.
Still, things are a-changin'. Gradually, but it's happening.
My dad advised me to stop using the womens locker room as soon as possible (and to avoid the locker rooms altogether temporarily) so that it won't be such a jarring, noticeable occurrence when and if I start using the mens locker room.
But, there are a few snags.
One being that I don't know if I'll be using the mens locker room any time in the foreseeable future, even if I develop substantial facial hair growth. Reason primarily being that I won't be having chest reconstruction surgery until about 2 years from now if everything goes as planned - and, in the meantime, even though I'll bind at work or out and about, I absolutely refuse to bind at the gym (for health reasons). And I shouldn't have to simply to 'pass' for my own safety or to be able to use a frickin' locker room like anyone else. Personally, however, it would be super swell not to have foreign mammal fat blubbering about while I'm trying to work out. That won't last for much longer, though. Patience, patience...
Still, the reality exists that I can anticipate a problem or two, and I do have to think about my safety amongst confused and potentially fearful peers. I'm thinking that there are a few options available to me, but I'm not entirely sure what to do or when to do it.
I could opt to just get into my workout gear after work THEN go to the gym and work out all hairy and breast-ridden, avoiding the locker room altogether. I mean, jebus, there are cisgender dudes there already with larger chests than mine and no one gives them smack.
Or I could perhaps try other, safer methods to 'bind' to some extent so that I can use the mens locker room without incident, like possibly wear a sports bra and two Under Armour shirts under a t-shirt or something along those layering frenzy lines. Hmm.
Or maybe I could just jog in the morning and work out from home for a while. I'm doubting I'll do this, though, because I don't want to NOT be able to use the gym simply because I'm obviously gender variant and confuse people who are only aware of binary gender and not quite sure where to place an individual with mutton chops and breasts, sweating away on a treadmill and lifting weights.
In the meantime, I believe that I'll continue using the womens locker room, removing my binder in the stall, putting on a sports bra, and working out until any issues arise. I'd use the mens, but I do feel more comfortable in the womens given my non-binding situation and history there.
I can't wait for top surgery.
On an incredibly uplifting and entirely unrelated note, yesterday I read a bizarre article on FOX News about this guy in New York who was hit by a car, then anchored on to a passing van who dragged his body for almost 20 miles until the driver noticed.
Cops Try to ID Man Dragged by Car for 20 MilesWhat the? How busy and hectic can a city get, to the point that something like this could happen?
NEW YORK — A van traveled for nearly an hour over busy New York City roads before its driver discovered the horrific cargo it had dragged almost 20 miles: the partially scraped-away body of a man who was plowed over by an SUV just before he got caught under the van.
"foreign mammal fat"! You are great. Be careful, I don't want to have to come to your rescue and karate chop someone to tears.
ReplyDeleteSad face! You have so many followers I've fallen off the list!
ReplyDeleteOr should I be congratulating you?
Hey, if I weren't gay, I probably wouldn't want to change in the locker room either. But it does afford me some nice visual stimulation from time to time.
ReplyDeleteI honestly miss the steam room. It was a nice relaxing thing after a workout. I wonder if my school's gym has a steam room or sauna.
Kammorremae: If only I knew how, I'd move you to the top in a heart beat! ;P
ReplyDeleteYou should really talk to them. What about changing in one of the tanning rooms?
ReplyDelete