Last Thursday was my mom's birthday. We celebrated by getting her ears re-pierced, visiting a local vegan hot dog cart, and partaking in outdoor adventures with the family pup, Ganymede. So much fun!
By dinner time, my uncle (mom's brother) joined us, who I haven't seen since I started hormone therapy. And I suspect that no one has mentioned it to him. He asked what was wrong with my voice and commented that it sounds different. He stared at me for prolonged, semi-awkward periods of time. Throughout dinner, my immediate family repeatedly referred to me with masculine pronouns.
He didn't ask any questions, but I'm assuming that he'll learn about it eventually.
Repo! The Genetic Opera & Gendered Admission Lines
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I went to see a movie called Repo! The Genetic Opera with a friend of mine a few nights ago. By the time we arrived there was a long waiting line, spilling out on to the sidewalk. After waiting for a little over an hour, an employee came out and shouted for "all men" to line up at one door and "all women" to line up at the other. And standing at both doors were 'gender-appropriate' guards, prepared to frisk the movie-goers.
I was completely taken aback by the line suddenly being separated by gender. And honestly, I wasn't sure which line to stand in. While I may be read as a cisgender male, I'm anatomically female-typical. If I chose the women's line, would I be hassled? If I chose the men's, would something happen when the guard frisked me, beyond my own discomfort? I chose the men's line.
To ease my anxiety while standing in the men's line, I openly talked about being transgender with my friend and joked about forming a third line. Which prompted a guy ahead of us to turn and comment, "You know, you're the only transgender person I've ever seen who passes really, really well."
I'm sure that it was meant to be a compliment, but I really dislike it when someone tells me that I "pass" well. I'm not trying to "pass" as something that I'm not. There aren't just cisgender masculine men and feminine women in the world, where the rest of us are all living inauthentically and desperately attempting to pass as one or the other. There's a whole spectrum of diversity - and I'm my own, authentic self.
Anyway, back to my tale. When it was finally my turn to be frisked, I felt my heart thudding. Especially while the guard felt around my chest. And I felt relieved when he patted me on the back and told me, "You're good to go, bud."
Exciting local tidbit
On August 27th my friend, Tylar, who is also transgender, was invited to speak on a local radio station's morning show on their popular Thursday morning ‘Ask 'a’ feature. The hosts were generally positive (aside from common confusions, like asking him about his sexual orientation even though that's an entirely different thing than gender). The callers were mostly polite and inquisitive. Overall, it was a super cute and it was really neat of the radio station to have a segment like this. And Tylar was really brave and awesome. Listen to the show here!
By dinner time, my uncle (mom's brother) joined us, who I haven't seen since I started hormone therapy. And I suspect that no one has mentioned it to him. He asked what was wrong with my voice and commented that it sounds different. He stared at me for prolonged, semi-awkward periods of time. Throughout dinner, my immediate family repeatedly referred to me with masculine pronouns.
He didn't ask any questions, but I'm assuming that he'll learn about it eventually.
Repo! The Genetic Opera & Gendered Admission Lines
.jpg)
I went to see a movie called Repo! The Genetic Opera with a friend of mine a few nights ago. By the time we arrived there was a long waiting line, spilling out on to the sidewalk. After waiting for a little over an hour, an employee came out and shouted for "all men" to line up at one door and "all women" to line up at the other. And standing at both doors were 'gender-appropriate' guards, prepared to frisk the movie-goers.I was completely taken aback by the line suddenly being separated by gender. And honestly, I wasn't sure which line to stand in. While I may be read as a cisgender male, I'm anatomically female-typical. If I chose the women's line, would I be hassled? If I chose the men's, would something happen when the guard frisked me, beyond my own discomfort? I chose the men's line.
To ease my anxiety while standing in the men's line, I openly talked about being transgender with my friend and joked about forming a third line. Which prompted a guy ahead of us to turn and comment, "You know, you're the only transgender person I've ever seen who passes really, really well."
I'm sure that it was meant to be a compliment, but I really dislike it when someone tells me that I "pass" well. I'm not trying to "pass" as something that I'm not. There aren't just cisgender masculine men and feminine women in the world, where the rest of us are all living inauthentically and desperately attempting to pass as one or the other. There's a whole spectrum of diversity - and I'm my own, authentic self.
Anyway, back to my tale. When it was finally my turn to be frisked, I felt my heart thudding. Especially while the guard felt around my chest. And I felt relieved when he patted me on the back and told me, "You're good to go, bud."
Exciting local tidbit
On August 27th my friend, Tylar, who is also transgender, was invited to speak on a local radio station's morning show on their popular Thursday morning ‘Ask 'a’ feature. The hosts were generally positive (aside from common confusions, like asking him about his sexual orientation even though that's an entirely different thing than gender). The callers were mostly polite and inquisitive. Overall, it was a super cute and it was really neat of the radio station to have a segment like this. And Tylar was really brave and awesome. Listen to the show here!
wow.. I never considered getting frisked. Sounds like you handled it well my friend.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think it's sweet that you got your mom's ears pierced. First time for her?
Oh and the uncle thing.. wow. Not sure I would have made it through the entire visit.
ReplyDeleteI think its funny that you mention the sexual orientation question. This was one I was actually impressed with, and remember thinking good for them. Mostly because when I heard it, it sounded like they were emphasizing how growing up he identified as a lesbian because well... He was "girl" and attracted to girls...then trying to emphases how now, he doesn't identify the same way... How possibly many people identify one way because that’s all they know, you know? That’s just what I took away from it. I thought the whole thing was super cute.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine the whole Uncle thing, it's amazing how interwoven people are and how a transition requires understanding and acceptance from a lot of people.
ReplyDeleteHehe, I visited said hotdog stand with Tylar the other day. I felt so dumb looking up and down the menu for their vegetarian friendly variety. Heh, who knew!
Speaking of, I am so proud of Tylar, and glad to hear so many positive reviews of his appearance on the show. Thanks for posting the link to the podcast :o)