Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints.

As I mentioned in my most recent post, I'm not able to update this as often as I really want to. I absolutely love blogging, but by the time I'm done with my graduate school tasks for the day, I become a collapsed puddle of human, incapable of uttering a single word. But I had to log on this once to share some incredibly exciting news. Earlier yesterday I learned that my insurance (through the marketplace) has preauthorized me FOR A HYSTERECTOMY IN EARLY AUGUST.  For over six years now I've been struggling through years of no insurance coverage as a student and then one trans-exclusive, discriminatory policy after another. Even as a federal employee. Yet finally, at long last, this is actually happening. It doesn't feel real yet, but I'm beyond ecstatic. I'm actually scheduled for surgery!  Whaaaa??? There are a gazillion risks reduced and benefits from having this done, one of which will be lowering my dose of testosterone post surgery, which is ...

I am now my third week of graduate school. I heard stories galore about how busy and all-encompassing it would be, and I can now report that all of the forewarning was very, very accurate. I spend my days doing research, reading, writing, classes, research, writing, reading, classes, and then some more reading. And I love it. I also feel above and beyond fortunate to have this opportunity and to do my very best! Unfortunately, this leaves me very little time to update my blog. So for now, I will not be able to blog. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to follow my journey throughout the years. This has been a wonderful experience and I'm going to miss it, but I must focus-focus-focus! Off I go into graduate school land! Bye for now! 

I was so ecsactic when I heard that Laverne Cox would be the first transgender person to grace the cover of TIME Magazine earlier this month. The second I heard about this, I knew that I absolutely had to have a copy. Custom framed, preferably signed by Laverne Cox, prominently displayed on my wall. I imagine myself still having it in my elder years, explaining to youngins what this represented to me as a young transgender person in 2014. As Kat Hache put it: It is validation not only of Laverne Cox’s work, but the work of the entire transgender community.  It is a visible, tangible representation of our existence. It’s a really, really big deal. After not stumbling upon a copy by mid-June, a friend and I started really digging around for it. Baffled, we couldn’t find a single copy anywhere. After finally landing ourselves at a Barnes n Noble, an employee explained that their magazine stock was limited due to a major magazine distributor in the east coast shutting dow...

Dissident Voice published my response to Robert Jensen's article! http://dissidentvoice.org/2014/06/gender-and-sexual-diversity/

Update: A more concise version of this was published on Dissident Voice titled, " Gender and Sexual Diversity " on June 21, 2014.  The recent article by Robert Jensen, “ Some Basic Propositions about Sex, Gender, and Patriarchy ,” espouses concepts that both reflect and perpetuate cissexism and transphobia. Jensen correctly anticipates that readers will recognize much of his article as unabashedly transphobic. He reacts by preemptively dismissing any such observations as mere “tactics.” In the third to last paragraph he writes,  "Labeling a radical feminist position on these public policy issues as inherently “transphobic” or describing radical feminist arguments on the issues as “hate speech” are diversionary tactics that undermine productive intellectual and political discussion. A critique of an idea is not a personal attack on any individual who holds the idea." An online search for terms like “hate speech” and “diversionary tactic” leads one to any numb...

I had the opportunity to attend the Philadelphia Trans-Health Conference for the first time this past weekend. It was incredible, to have the privilege to experience such an indescribable sense of connectedness among so many trans* and cisgender persons. I heard from the grapevine that 3,000+ people were in attendance, which is apparently up from around 2,000 last year. I was particularly impressed by the vast spectrum of activities offered. There was youth programming, all day programming with specific schedules (e.g. community space, spirituality space, native/first nations/indigenous gathering space), evening events, vendors galore, a gazillion different workshops, and so on. There was something for everyone! For instance, I attended the conference with two friends who wanted to learn more about how to become better cisgender allies. One chum is a pastor living in Kansas and the other is a researcher at the National Institutes of Health (NIH). While my researcher friend an...

In Arcade Fire's new music video, "We Exist" with Andrew Garfield. Makes me teary eyed every time.

My parents visited me here in Maryland last Wednesday for mother's day, my dad's birthday (May 11), and for my birthday (May 15)! This was the first time my mom had ever been on a commercial airline and the furthest she's ever traveled from Utah. She was all anxious about potential motion sickness, the cabin pressure, and so on, but ended up sleeping the entire way. All went well and they arrived safe n' sound! This past week has been so.much.refreshing.fun. Vacation time with my parents is a rarity, and I almost didn't think it would be possible to get them out here. But it was, and it happened. We have been on a few road trips near Utah together, but never further than California. And right now I have this incredibly unique opportunity to live in Maryland, which makes it the most affordable time for my cute parents to experience DC and this humid, foresty wonderland. Seriously. The trip took my parents from the usual arid world we're used to in Utah: ...

Be forewarned: I am about to launch into a whiny spiel about how stressful it has been meeting with trans-unaware OB-GYNs while I'm insured in hopes that they won't a) refer to me as a "post-menopausal woman" and b) will, at the very least, listen to me about my preventative interest in an oophorectomy (removal of ovaries) and a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus). But before said spiel, a brief update is in order. As a reminder since it's been a minute, I am presently living in Maryland to complete my federal service "payback" as an NIH (National Institutes of Health) Undergraduate Scholarship post-baccalaureate (i.e. 4-year college graduate) research fellow. Throughout the duration of my payback I have been nervous about blogging after I signed a gazillion + 1 forms about not representing myself as the NIH or a federal employee. So, quick disclaimer before I proceed: I am not blogging on behalf of the NIH or as a federal employee. Alright, now w...

HRC: Today is International Transgender Day of Visibility

Why We Need More Than Two Genders While the array of gorgeous human skin colors and ethnicities and sexualities is increasingly embraced as a matter of human rights, we are slower to celebrate multiple genders.   I would like to make clear right at the start that breaking out of a male-female gender dichotomy isn't some 21st century liberal-progressive agenda, as it is sometimes painted.  Spending some time with this interactive map shows that fluidity in gender roles is and has been evident in societies around the world. A nonbinary perspective is neither new nor Euro-American. Read more  >

Wooo! Kapooie! Which means that I get to devour my most favorite food ever - sushi sushi sushi!

It's been a while since identification documents have been a source of stress for me, but I received an e-mail recently from the NIH informing everyone that our paperwork for employment is now being processed by human resources. This is only the second time since transitioning that I've gone through the employment process, and the first time around was a little bumpy. In a nutshell, my paperwork was flagged , and I discovered that it was due to having gender-incongruent identification. Meaning, my gender is male on my driver's license and birth certificate, but female on my social security record. This put me in a position where my trans status was disclosed without my consent and also significantly delayed my start date and first paycheck. Fortunately, my employer isn't trans-discriminatory and I was able to sustain myself economically longer than I'd anticipated, but the whole ordeal made it clearer than ever how problematic identification documents can perpetu...

Here's the documentary I referred to in my previous post. It is about the case of David Reimer, who as a baby boy suffered a botched circumcision and unsuccessfully raised as a girl. He eventually committed suicide. This was the recommendation of a doctor named John Money, who believed that gender identity is entirely socially determined and malleable.

I can't wait to graduate and get back to blogging. My writing juice well gets sucked dry every semester. But, I just learned that I graduate on June 1st and as per the awesome scholarship I received from the National Institutes of Health (NIH), I fly out to Maryland for June 2nd. Then I officially begin my internship with them on June 3rd. A little bit ago I got to head out there for a couple of days to meet prospective mentors - all of whom were wonderful. A couple of weeks ago I learned what lab I'll be working in and I am beyond excited. That's an update in a ridiculously compressed nutshell, but now I need to run off to study for an exam. It's for a course titled "Behavioral Endocrinology", which is just intimidating scaryfancy speak for "How Hormones Influence Behavior". Which is right up my alley. In fact, we're required to watch a film called Sex Unknown prior to the exam, which I'm astounded that I'd never heard of or watched...

How cute! I received this little postcard in the mail today from The Self Made Men , and it's my 4 year (seriously??) tranniversary on the 11th!

Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day observed annually around the world to memorialize those who have been murdered as a result of transphobia - the hatred or fear of transgender and gender non-conforming people. It's a day of mixed feelings for me. Sadness that transphobia is so rampant that a startling number of beautiful lives are lost. It is estimated that transgender individuals in the U.S. today have a one-in-twelve chance of being murdered (Uniform Crimes Reports, 2000) . This is roughly 1500 times higher than the general population and amounts to approximately one murder every three days (National Center for Health Statistics, 2009) . Due to this, the day set aside as a “transgender holiday” is a day of memorializing a long list of murdered victims to raise much-needed awareness. But, this awareness is vital. Transphobia needs silence to survive , and I seriously can't wait for the day when we can have Transgender Pride — a celebration of our lives. ...

I need to learn Swedish. Stat. Swedish School’s Big Lesson Begins With Dropping Personal Pronouns STOCKHOLM — At an ocher-color preschool along a lane in Stockholm’s Old Town, the teachers avoid the pronouns “him” and “her,” instead calling their 115 toddlers simply “friends.” Masculine and feminine references are taboo, often replaced by the pronoun “hen,” an artificial and genderless word that most Swedes avoid but is popular in some gay and feminist circles. Read more >

I just self-injected! Finally! It's been a little over 9 months that I suddenly, for no reason, couldn't self-inject . It was bizarre, because I'd been self-injecting testosterone cypionate into my thigh for almost three years with no fear and very little problems. And then, bam! - I just, couldn't . Confused and frustrated, I assumed that maybe I was just off my game that week. But then it happened that following week. And the week after. And for over nine months, I've discovered that it's an incredible inconvenience to have to rely on someone else (usually my father) for my injections. I started to develop additional anxieties around what's going to happen when someone isn't around to help, like when I move to Maryland next summer and don't know anyone who could help. I've also been irrationally hard on myself about it. I woke up Friday morning determined to do my it myself. I decided not to do it in the morning, when there's a lo...